WIPPER: Why Not Lars: 7”

The title track is an extremely weak attempt at humor by reworking the old joke “It should have been Lars,” which of course is a reference to the untimely death of Metallica’s popular bassist Cliff Burton. “Why Not Lars” might have been intended to be a “metal ballad” of sorts but it sounds more like a bar rock cover band drunkenly trying to remember how to play “Hotel California.” Side B doesn’t fare any better as it mocks heavy metal music with poorly written lyrics about wizards and other stupid shit. What the fuck is a Wipper anyway? God, what a waste of a perfectly good piece of opaque blue colored vinyl. –Juan Espinosa (Arkam, arkamrecords.net)