WATERMELON: Self-titled: LP

Sep 22, 2023

I am sort of intrigued by this band because they did such a nice job on the album graphics. The band’s name is rendered like a Marshall™ logo (which is punk via the Ramones) and there’s a switchblade on the cover (also punk, because us and our doggone switchblades), but the background is a psychedelic swirly pattern (not punk) (yet), setting up stylistic tension and other highbrow concepts. Then, to tie the whole thing together, the coral pink and seafoam green colors of the guitar and bass are repeated in the swirly pattern, visually unifying the whole deal. So, points for that. What I don’t like about the band is that every single member is wearing another band’s T-shirt on the cover (Screeching Weasel, Dee Dee Ramone, Mean Jeans), which I hate, because influences should be demonstrated in one’s music itself, not as a mere name affixed to one’s garment. Yet, maybe this is a high concept art element that I simply don’t “get,” (put “band name itself” on that list as well), so let’s move on. At the moment, the band sounds like basic Ramonesy punk—somewhat like Head, but not quite that over-the-top—but every so often there’s something a little quirkier and Midnight Snaxxxier that suggests they have the potential to pull off something exceptional at some future date. For now, I shall content myself with their decidedly female take on traditional “Carbona Not Glue” boredom-punk—lines like “got my bong and the cat” are, somehow, pure genius. Jolly Ranchers® for everyone! BEST SONG: “Stayin’ in on Saturday.” BEST SONG TITLE: “Clumsy.” FANTASTIC AMAZING TRIVIA FACT: Too bad these guys weren’t around in the ’90s. They could have done a split with that Hawaiian punk band Grapefruit. –Rev. Nørb (Dirt Cult)

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