UNITED TEACHERS OF MUSIC: The Dreams of Beasts Must Die: LP

When I first read the name of this band, I wondered if it was a joke. Is this the worst band name ever? The pictures of the band on the record sleeve didn’t do much to change my mind: these dudes are goofballs. There is a gross over-indulgence of guitar-pedals, dual-axe metal riffs, and drum fills on this album, making it sound a lot like the panic attack that is a packed Guitar Center showroom on a Saturday morning. I do like the singer, who comes off as a cross between Jello Biafra and Megadeth’s Dave Mustaine. Other than that, this record gets a big, big pass from me. –Jon Mule (Self-released)