SUZI MOON: Call the Shots: 12”

Jul 20, 2021

Suzi Moon is young, attractive, scantily-clad, and occasionally tied up, to which the lavish assortment of photos plastered all over the packaging will attest. Well, good for her. Somebody’s gotta do it. As far as the music goes, it kinda reminds me of a cross between Pat Benatar, Joan Jett, and Kathleen Hanna fronting Brain Drain era Ramones—that is to say, punk rock designed to get radio airplay, which really isn’t punk rock at all. It’s alternative rock, but whatever. As far as her general lyrical, uh, thrust or whatever, she seems very excited about being “empowered” or something along those lines. “I’m not a man, but I can make six figures!” Well, again, good for her. Of course, if she were a man, and told me she made six figures, I’d think she was the most insecure pencil-dicked dweeb of all time, and quickly find someone else at the party to talk to, but, as she informed me, she’s not a man, so… yay? She also informed me, the listener, “I’m not a lady, but I’m a lady killer—I kissed your girlfriend in the parking lot!” So… I guess, what, she goes on the short list of people to call when we’re one short for a threesome? That’s cool, maybe she can pay for the hotel, too; she’s apparently got the money for it. Of the three songs on here, the one that works the best for me is “Nuthin’ to Me,” which evokes not so much all that stuff I mentioned earlier, but early Girlschool, which I consider to be relatively high praise. BEST SONG & TITLE: “Nuthin’ to Me.” FANTASTIC AMAZING TRIVIA FACT: Program repeated on Side 2 to amaze and delight the listener. –Rev. Nørb (Pirates Press,