I wasn’t very old before I felt like I was “weird” and therefore didn’t deserve love or intimacy in the way “hot” girls did.
I was big. I was loud. I carried around the published collection of Kurt Cobain journals.
I soon developed a warped mentality, that no one would want me. And it manifested in my feeling like I didn’t get to want things. For years I excused being treated poorly, had unfulfilling sex trying to please others, and denied existence of my own desires.
And while still validating my own trauma and experiences, and not minimizing what I’ve been through; I can say that living to please men, living to please anyone other than yourself, is fucking stupid. Living thinking no one “wants” me is stupid. Living thinking I don’t deserve to fulfill my desires, or deserve to have desires at all is stupid.
I, as all women, womyn, girls, grrrrls, femmes, queers, trans people and non-binaries, am a fucking goddess. I don’t have time for bullshit. I don’t have time for the male gaze. I don’t have time for internalizing gross things white patriarchy projects on me.
I will call you out if you are not treating me well. I will be vocal and communicative about what I want. I will understand that every body is beautiful and that sex can be healthy and fun and fulfilling. I will demand better for myself.
These are some power songs about rejecting people, dating on your terms, feeling yourself, femme sexual desire, having high standards, sex positivity, and calling people out when they’re fucking up.
It spans genres in attempt to try capture all the feelings involved in reclaiming intimacy on your own terms: the anger, power, sadness, pride, strength, fun, sexiness, fear and excitement.
As always, as always, every band/artist is comprised of women+, femmes, queer and trans folx.
Support women+, femmes, queers and trans folx in punk.
Fuck Donald Trump.
Be good to yourselves.
Be intimate with those who deserve it.
Alice Bag, “No Means No” (Self-titled, Don Giovanni)
Junglepussy, “Pop For You” (Pregnant With Success, Self-released)
That Dog, “Gagged And Tied” (Retreat From The Sun)
Mykki Blanco, Princess Nokia “Wish You Would (ft. Princess Nokia)” (Spring/Summer 2014, UNO and NYC)
Liz Phair, “Flower” (Exile In Guyville, Matador)
Mitksi, “Townie” (Bury Me At Makeout Creek, Dead Oceans)
Kevin Abstract, “Miserable America” (American Boyfriend: A Suburban Love Story, Brockhampton/ EMPIRE)
Sex Stains, “Don’t Hate Me ‘Cuz I’m Beautiful” (Self-titled, Don Giovanni)
Lunachicks, “Jan Brady” (Babysitters on Acid, Self-released)
Red Aunts, “When Sugar Turns To Shit” (#1 Chicken, Epitaph)
X-Ray Spex, “Oh Bondage, Up Yours!” (Germ Free Adolescents: The Anthology, Sanctuary Records Group)
G.L.O.S.S., “Target of Men Targets of Men” (Demo 2015, Sabotage)
Nonane, “Reality Check (ft. Akenya & Eryn Allen Kane)” (Telefone, Self-released)
The Spook School, “I Want To Kiss You” (Try To Be Hopeful, Fortuna POP!)
Sports (from Ohio), “The Washing Machine” (All Of Something, Father/Daughter)