PUPPY AND THE HAND JOBS: I Hate Everything: 7”

One of the benefits of record reviews is that you can read this review instead of doing a Google search for “Puppy And The Hand Jobs.” I think this is the first band I’ve reviewed with a music video available on Pornhub. I’m not kidding. They actually have a music video for the song “Cocksucker” from this EP up on Pornhub. Musically similar to much of the Slovenly catalog, which is certainly not an insult, this seven-track EP is for fans of sleazy garage rock with puerile, tongue-in-cheek lyrics. An ongoing issue that I find frustrating involves the assumptions made about those of us who enjoy dopey, deliberately offensive bands. As a public defender, I see myself as someone who does good things for a living. As a socialist, I see myself as someone who is further to the left than a prototypical, mainstream liberal. Yet I’ve always gotten a kick out of sophomoric lyrics. It’s an imperfect analogy, but it’s kind of like my inexplicable love for extremely violent movies. I’m nonviolent to the point that I’ve never hit anyone in my life, but I’ve been attracted to horror and exploitation flicks from a very young age. A knee-jerk response to those of us that have a soft spot for inflammatory lyrics is that we’re a bunch of insensitive, misogynistic scumbags. Our knee-jerk response back is that our critics, while well-intended, are anti-speech thought police. Both positions are unfair generalizations. In reality, it’s often just different sensibilities among caring people who have way more in common than they realize. You can absolutely judge this record by its cover, which for some of us is a quick “hell yes.” Everyone else should steer clear. –Art Ettinger (Slovenly)