PERSONAL AND THE PIZZAS: Self-titled: LP

I feel that this band was made for me. I love shtick and I love pizza. Their last LP Raw Pie was my introduction and I was blown away. Hilarious, cartoonish tales of being New Jersey street toughs obsessed with pizza and set to a soundtrack steeped heavily in Ramones, Stooges, and Dead Boys. They had me at pizza. I set about collecting every single they put out after that. Great singles, all of them and now a new LP. It’s like dough thrown from heaven! Here’s the thing, though. When I got Raw Pie way back when, I didn’t realize that it was mostly a singles compilation (since I hadn’t heard them before). Now here we have the new album, and more than half of it is the singles that I have been collecting since then. I was a little sad that I already had most of this, but, hey, less record flipping, right? As for the tunes, they’re amazing! The Pizzas rock hard in that mid-’70s way and they come correct. They lyrics are hilarious, tackling important issues such as fighting, brain damage, being bored, rock’n’roll, and going down on your significant other. I just want to know one thing. Where are the pizza references? Where’s the shtick? All it would take to make this album perfect would be one or two songs along the lines of “Pepperoni Eyes” or “$7.99 for Love.” Yo Personal, where’s the pizza, you jive turkey? Now I can only love this album instead of obsess over it. –Ty Stranglehold (Slovenly)