PERMANENT GREEN LIGHT, THE: Hallucinations, Balthasar and the Outer Planets: CS

Review for White Male Fans of Big Star: This college rock/power pop record is perfect—gorgeous arrangements and impressive musicianship combined with happy melodies. On the Big Star influence lineage map, this sits somewhere between The Replacements and The Lemonheads. You’re gonna love it. I promise. Review for Everyone Else: Goddamn those fanboys (above) are the worst. It’s like Jesus; by himself mostly all right, but his fans make me hate everything about him and curse his existence. For what this record is, it’s actually quite good. The trouble is, what it is, makes me violently ill. I had to turn it off briefly upon hearing the lyric “you oughta read some Rousseau” because the cringeworthy image of yet another soft boi fake-woke indie rock wannabe salivating over it simultaneously filled me with rage and stomach bile. This record, through no fault of its own, gave me gaslighting flashbacks. It’s a shame. The record is lovely, but I hope all of its fans spontaneously combust. –Lorien Lamarr (Burger, burgerrecords.11spot.com)