I feel like I was just tricked into reading Scottie Pippen fan fiction. It’s a short story about a person waking up in their filth, eating a Pop-Tart, and then shooting the shit with the eponymous basketball star. I could make wild guesses about the meaning of Scottie Pippen. Perhaps he’s a metaphor for unfulfilled desires. Or maybe it’s just Scottie Pippen fan fiction. As with all Scottie Pippen fan fiction, I assume, it is also filled with freshman composition college writing. Lots of adverbs and an allergic avoidance of contractions that makes the text sound stiff and afraid to be too common. I wish I had something positive to say, but I really just can’t see the point. –Bryan Static (Steve Orth, Cookie Books, [email protected])