I was pre-writing this review in my head during the first song (“imagine some Beck-damaged twits trying to recreate the Rolling Stones’ Beggar’s Banquet album armed with only the slow songs and the back cover font” was my rough draft) and had little ambition to listen to more than a song or two—but by the time I got to “Too Tough to Survive”—which sounds about as close to that Gen X album as this ornate and polished crew is ever gonna get—I came to the realization that this album is a masterpiece of fucking despair. “And, in the end, most of your questions won’t be answered / You’ll just wind up with cancer”—I mean, who the fuck writes things like that, let alone polishes them to a sheen with lush instrumentation? These aren’t nihilistic teenagers chugging cough syrup in a basement, these are (seemingly) grown adults, creating an elaborately polished product that features song titles like “I Got a Sadness I Can’t Kick” and “Everyone Is Terrible and the World Is Rotten.” Although I rather hope I never find myself so bummed out that this album means a lot to me, I wouldn’t think of giving it a bad review, just because I’m imagining the singer is standing on a chair right now with a belt around his neck, waiting for the Razorcake review to come in so he can decide whether to stay or go. Oh well, have a nice day! BEST SONG & TITLE: “Too Tough to Survive” FANTASTIC AMAZING TRIVIA FACT: If I spelled “rhythm” with only one “h” I guess I’d be bummed out, too. –Rev. Nørb (Miedlena, manhattanmurdermystery.com)