GREEN DREAMS: Here at Castle Makeout: CD

A compact disc cleverly hidden in seven-inch clothing, the amazingly elaborate fold-out packaging instantly confers substantial gravitas to the musical contents, simply by virtue of nuttiness alone. With Bikini Kill vocals, Elastica bass, and guitars of molten snot, I was hopeful that these twelve songs would transport me to the ethereal kingdom of Shalla-Boo-Bal, where I would pop boner after boner on the floating pink altar of elevated ferret priapism as fox-headed vixens fed me purple Skittles and fanned my fevered brow with lenticulated cover versions of Their Satanic Majesties Request, but my attempted spiritual awakening was deadened with relatively banal subject matter (“too cool to care, well I think you’re the square”) and it only transported me to the back yard two doors down, where I saw two squirrels have angry sex on a bed of broken chestnuts. Nice try, though. Sorry I wasn’t high when I listened to it! BEST SONG: “Be Here Now.” BEST SONG TITLE: “Psychic Woes.” FANTASTIC AMAZING TRIVIA FACT: Includes samples from the movie 9 to 5 with Dolly Parton! ¬–Rev. Nørb (Self-released, greendreamsdotcom.com)