GETTING GET IN THE VAN, $2, 5½” x 8½”, copied, 24 pgs.

Hot on the heels of his previous literary smash, John Cage: Autobiographical Facts About the American Composer, this anonymous (unless I am really bad at paying attention) zinester created this slim opus in order to raise funds to pay for a new copy of the Henry Rollins memoir Get in the Van, which he had borrowed from his friend Jay and summarily lost. The book is now out of print and selling for like two hundred dollars, or so the story goes. And, while I rather enjoy this guy’s dry-to-the-point-of-absurd humor, it’s hard to imagine that there is a slavering, untapped market out there that is champing at the bit to toss this guy two bucks for a zine that takes about ten minutes to read, front-to-back (however, if you’d like a little taste of the merchandise, page four includes a review of Henry’s duet with Cyndi Lauper and a description of the Häagen-Dazs where Rollins was the manager circa 1981. Page five features an etymology of the word “van,” as well as a spurious email exchange between Henry and the author’s friend Jay. Order today!). However, as the stated purpose of this publication is to replace Jay’s copy of Get in the Van, we can cut out the middleman: Just send this guy two dollars, or a copy of the book if you have one you don’t want, or a hot lead on a reasonably priced copy, and his Herculean labors will not have been in vain. He closes by teasing a sequel to Getting Get in the Van, and I, for one, welcome our new insect overlords. –Rev. Nørb ([email protected])