FUTURE BARTENDERZ: Chester Cheetah, Macramé, Brian Eno, Chardonnay: Selected Songs 2020-21: CS

Jan 05, 2022

This tape sounded so inaudibly putrid that I initially suspected it was recorded on vaguely magnetized toilet paper. I found this unfortunate, as the first song—what I could hear of it—was really cool. It sounded like if Julian Leal were playing in a sealed bank vault three blocks away. And did he mention… Galena? The second song seemed like cheeky synthpunk, which was an odd juxtaposition, but I figured I had my review already written (“tunes = yay, sound = boo”) and started doing housework. When I walked back into the living room, it sounded like the world’s gimpiest karaoke version of “Enola Gay.” I shrugged it off, rolled my eyes, and went on with my chores. When I walked back within earshot (which wasn’t easy to do, given the crap-ola fidelity), the band was clearly doing a parody of Minor Threat’s “Out of Step,” and I was like okay, waaaaiiiit a fuckin’ minute here, what IS this shit??? Turns out this thirty-two-song effusion of genius is the product of the right loony Brian Costello, of Hozac Records/Horizontal Action fame, albeit exhibiting a slightly more Weird Al-ish bent than I’d ever given him credit for. Word to your mother, songs like the Thin Lizzy-esque “The Dudes Have Returned to the Place We Call Home” are straight-up brilliant… but… there’s no fucking way anyone can sit through ninety minutes of a tape that sounds this bad. Please release this on reel tape so the kids can get their wild freak on the right way! BEST SONG: “Payment Status Unavailable.” BEST SONG TITLE: “Thinking I’d Like to Get Hip to All the Nature Shit around Here.” FANTASTIC AMAZING TRIVIA FACT: “Orlando’s Bad Boys.” –Rev. Nørb (Godless America, godless-america.com)

Related Posts

1 2 3 10,930

Thankful Bits

Razorcake.org is supported and made possible, in part, by grants from the following organizations.
Any findings, opinions, or conclusions contained herein are not necessarily those of our grantors.
crossmenu