FREEZING HANDS: Empty the Tank: LP

Jan 24, 2024

Despite an odd name, strange album covers that look like a cross between 1970 Velvet Underground and 1972 Nick Drake, and a profound lack of Rock And Roll Image, Freezing Hands are really kind of fucking astonishing. I mean, they sound like a cross between the Marked Men and Big Star (roll that one around in your brain for a while), or maybe if the Fastbacks were all dudes and didn’t have Kurt Bloch on guitar. Perhaps a punk Raspberries? Bram Tchaikovsky with Chuck Wagon on keyboards? Am I getting closer? Things like “I Love You, Guitar!” sound like what the planet might have wound up with if Nick Lowe were ten or fifteen years younger in 1979, but other stuff like “I Was a Teenage Piece of Shit” clearly expose their middle-aged punk rocker origins (which is unfortunate, as this puts them squarely in my peer group, which causes me to feel woefully unaccomplished by comparison). This band is so good you’ll swear they were from Vancouver. I cannot sing their praises highly enough. So fuck it. Record of the Year, maybe! BEST SONG: “Wax Cups.” BEST SONG TITLE: “Disappearing Bug or Horse.” FANTASTIC AMAZING TRIVIA FACT: My copy is #216, which is two cubed times three cubed, and also the Cleveland area code. –Rev. Nørb (Dateland)

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