FITNESS: Puppet Show: 7” EP

Props unto the band for extracting this much fidelity from that least propulsive of musical formats, the 7” 33. That said, I am having a spot of difficulty trying to draw an anal bead on what, precisely, these denim-clad ne’er-do-wells are attempting to do to me on this record: They’ve got twin guitars howling together in calculated disunity like some manner of wet basement Thin Lizzy, the singer screams up large swaths of lung like a celestial Orkin man visiting armageddon upon Stink Bug Planet, but yet they have these goofy and seemingly meaningless song titles like “Pauly’s Shore” and “Roseanne’s Bar,” somewhat defusing the Rock Gravitas that is presumably at the heart of the situation. I can’t figure out if they’re trying to be the second coming of AOD or angling for a mid-afternoon slot at Riot Fest. Decent but aesthetically perplexing. BEST SONG: “Pauly’s Shore.” BEST SONG TITLE: “Firebird,” because I thought they meant the b-side to “Chewy Chewy.” FANTASTIC AMAZING TRIVIA FACT: They thank both the ‘05 White Sox and ‘16 Cubs, so you know success is their only motherfuckin’ option. ¬–Rev. Nørb (Don’t Panic, dontpanicitsadistro.bandcamp.com)