Final Exit is unlike anything I’ve ever heard before (except for maybe Anal Cunt, but I’ve spent much of my adult life trying to un-hear A.C.). They describe themselves as “funny grind,” but I genuinely think they missed an opportunity by not going with “goofy grind.” The Japanese two-piece blasts through five songs in less than five minutes, jumping from nutso screeches to cheesy pop rock riffs. It’s always weird, spastic, and never boring. Slovakia’s Sedem Minút Strachu, on the other hand, is pure noise. It’s possible their nearly six-minute contribution was recorded on a single Motorola Backflip: the guitar is blown-out and the drum kit is so tinny it might as well be aluminum cans. On the plus side, their cover art boasts a tough-as-fuck picture of Cliff Burton with the words “Hail Cliff! Fuck Riffs!” Amen. –Sean Arenas (SPHC, sphc.bigcartel.com)