DUMPIES, THE: Roberto Clemente: 7” EP

Sep 22, 2022

In a sort of advance Fantastic Amazing Trivia Fact, the catalog number for this one-sided, six-song EP is “HC 83.” That’s fairly prescient, given that this sounds like what an HC record might’ve sounded like in ’83: Get in, have the band strike up some catchy violence, communicate your idea as succinctly as possible, get out, start the next song, repeat, be done. Toss your songs out by the handful, like corn kernels thrown on the ground to feed the ducks. Eliminate anything you don’t need for any particular idea until all that’s left are a few nuggets of hyper-dense white dwarf star matter, and never lose sight of the fact that the sooner you get done playing, the sooner you can start drinking. I like this record. It is brief and tidy and communicates useful ideas to me. Someday I will buy the fortune cookie company and change all the fortunes to Dumpies song lyrics. You have been warned. BEST SONG: “Mutual Aid.” BEST SONG TITLE: “Eat Ass Do Crimes.” FANTASTIC AMAZING TRIVIA FACT: The only graded sports card I own is a Roberto Clemente rookie card (Topps, 1959). I don’t remember what grade it is or where I put it.–Rev. Nørb (Hovercraft)