CITIZEN BLAST KANE: Straight to Videodisc: LP

This sounds like all the shit on all the shelves in all the basements in North America falling violently onto unfinished cement floors while Chris Montez stands off to the side in the resulting dust cloud occasionally playing one-handed keyboard with a crudely manufactured hook. Alternately, this also sounds like music that the Dictators’ grandkids would play to aggravate their parents. There’s always room in my heart for New Jersey. And sandwich meat. BEST SONG: “Fastball” which is not the Sugarloaf song. BEST SONG TITLE: Either “Salisbury Shake” or “Sweatpants Lament.” NOW do you understand? FANTASTIC AMAZING TRIVIA FACT: There are eighteen slices of sandwich meat visible on the back cover, but only three on the front. I think that means Paul McCartney is dead. –Rev. Nørb (Self-released)