CHEAP CASSETTES, THE: All Anxious, All the Time: CD

This is a radio-friendly band with a real underwhelming Vibrators cover. Mid-tempo, cookie cutter rock riffs with drumming so slow you might want to make sure the percussionist is still awake. They’re self proclaimed as “high energy, lo-fi garage,” though I’d venture they’re more of a “low energy, hi-fi band.” It’s one of those things where everyone knows the singer sucks, but they let him sing because he wrote all the lyrics. And speaking of which, how does one find the balls to write a song called “Sieg Heil (Means I Love You),” ‘cus I’m pretty sure it still doesn’t. There’s some Chuck Berry and some Elvis Costello, but completely zapped of the passion or energy. I’m a huge Groovie Ghoulies fan because they manage to use Berry as a foundation for spirited pop punk songs about monsters. But much like a vampire with a bad dentist, The Cheap Cassettes really lack a bite. Sorry guys, I just need a little more umph and a touch of danger in my rock’n’roll. Also, obvious question, but why was this not released as a cheap cassette? –Kayla Greet (Rum Bar)