BORIS THE SPRINKLER: Vespa to Venus: LP

I couldn’t even imagine one possible reality where I would be writing about a brand spanking new Boris The Sprinkler record in 2019, but here we are. Boris are one of my favorite bands that I got into in my impressionable twenties. Solid, Ramones-based punk rock firmly rooted in cartoonish ridiculousness (like I need to describe them to you). I was so sad when they called it a day back in 2000 but made peace with the fact that I would never again know which Taco Bell locations I had to avoid… There is usually some apprehension when it comes to a nineteen-year gap between albums, but not this time. It is all here. The monologue gag, Rev. Nørb announcing the title of each song, the amazing catchiness of it all, and most importantly, the fun. This album easily stands with the rest of the catalogue. I love this album, so in celebration I am going to shamelessly steal Rev. Nørb’s review schtick. BEST SONG: “Spider Baby.” BEST SONG TITLE: “My Cock’s on Drugs!” FANTASTIC AMAZING TRIVIA FACT: Although the world seems like it may be at it’s shittiest, the fact that Boris The Sprinkler is out there making music again gives me hope for the future. –Ty Stranglehold (Beer City)