BARKHARD: Shut Up and Skate Millennium Edition: LP

May 24, 2022

I must have totes not had my fingers on the pulsebeat of the mid-’80s Houston skatepunk scene back in the day, because not only have I never heard of this band or this record (originally released in 1985, apparently by Zorlac Skateboards?!), but I also have no clue who “legendary pro skaters” (and Barkhard members) John “Tex” Gibson and Todd Prince are. So, if nothing else, I’m approaching this reissue with a clean slate, free of preconceptions, prejudices, and all other psychic baggage. Honestly, it sounds like a fairly typical example of the albums most teenage punk/hardcore bands slapped together back in the day—songs about beer drinking, skating, and, you know, The Scene—with the addition of a somewhat metal-aspiring lead guitarist. The presence of the metal noodling kind of gives the impression that these guys were a more inept version of bands like Tales Of Terror, Gang Green, or the Boneless Ones, but if you factor the metal guy out of the equation, I think they come down more on the Adolescents side of things. Whether you need to add this album to your collection or not probably depends on how much you miss the mid-’80s. I kinda don’t miss it at all, but if that’s your jam, rejoice and get your wallet out. BEST SONG & SONG TITLE: “Psychopathic Roach.” FANTASTIC AMAZING TRIVIA FACT: If you have an interest in spelling words correctly, I advise you not to look at the poster. –Rev. Nørb (Beer City,