xXXXx: $6ppd. in U.S., half-size, offset with screen printed and letter pressed cover,

Nov 22, 2011

On the cover there is a subtitle of “straight edge erotic fiction.” I must say that I was quite interested in finding out about what lay inside. The four stories (all by Xartnoosex) were each a disappointment. Admittedly, I’m not an expert in the field of either straight edge or erotica, but I can attest to the fact that these stories were neither straight edge nor erotic. The first story was told in first person from the perspective of a female who was, if memory serves, a graphic designer. She had, for all intents and purposes, a fuck buddy who was a father and a teacher. She had a fantasy of being the female in a male-female-male threesome. Such a threesome comes to fruition at the end of the story. The reasons this one wasn’t edge are twofold. First, there’s promiscuity. Second, there’s no indication of people being straight edge. There was a real missed opportunity here: Youth Of Today’s We’re Not in This Alone could have been playing in the background during the climax. Why wasn’t it erotic? It had some physical detail, but failed to really launch into the mental details of lust and desire. The same goes for the second story about lesbians in a committed relationship, also told from the first person. In fact, that’s why I don’t think any of these stories are really erotic. They have sexuality but lack sensuality. Anyhow, the second story gets edge points for being about a committed couple. While it lacks anything that deems it not edge, there are no indications of why it is particularly straight edge. The missed opportunity here is not using this line: “She bound me up like she bound herself to the X.” The third story (and the first of two in third person) was about a straight committed couple whose members were in two separate touring bands. This story had the most almost edge stuff happening. There was the committed relationship, a mention of a Gather T-shirt, and the term, and I quote, “xblowjobx.” (Quick side note: I had to look up Gather. They are shitty, metallic bullshit. Steer clear!) A T-shirt does not straight edge make; I have seen many people with drinks in their hands wearing shirts of straight edge bands. Also, uttering “xblowjobx” just means that you’ve spent way too much time on message boards and AIM. Missed opportunity: editing out “xblowjobx.” The fourth story was about a girl telling some guy on house arrest about a root beer keg party that turned into an orgy. Okay, quite plainly, can somebody explain how an orgy is straight edge? What about root beer keg parties, are those a real thing? The root beer keg party was in celebration of some guy in recovery’s fifth year sober. That’s about as edge as it got. Again, not playing We’re Not in This Alone was a real missed opportunity. Overall, I would say that xXXXx merits the subtitle of “sex stories that don’t involve drugs or alcohol.” If that truly disheartens you and you would still like to spend $6 on actual straight edge erotic fiction, I will write you a piece for that $6—and mine won’t have typos. I must warn you, though, that it will be only slightly less of a rip off than this rag. –Vincent ([email protected] US / World)



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