VON DANIKENS: 12 Hot Shots: CD

This band has somehow melded poor man’s Motörhead riffs with low-voiced-man’s chanty choruses ((a la every Toy Dolls album from “Bare Faced Cheek” onwards, which is exactly when they started going downhill)), then added occasional Brian May-like guitar excursions and gratuitous occasional rapid-fire BINKBINKBINKBINKBINK piano and reverb-drenched surf frippery to produce an album entirely about getting drunk and rockin’ with one’s punk rock & roll hooligan friends that somehow doesn’t manage to yield a single track that my punk rock & roll hooligan friends and i want to get drunk and rock to. This seems like the kind of band who always bring the same five friends and the same five girlfriends with them to every show, then those same ten people stand in front of the band, singing along passionately and self-consciously to every song, as meanwhile everyone else in the club sort of saunters around rolling their eyes and going “ay caramba, those clods from Tarraco are here.” Ah well, ya can’t make an omelet without breakin’ a few eggs, ya know? BEST SONG: “Ready, Steady, Go,” i guess BEST SONG TITLE: Well, although “Ready, Steady, Go” minus the commas worked pretty well for Generation X, i think the dick in me is voting for “I Don’t Want to Grow Up.” Take THAT, Milo! FANTASTIC AMAZING TRIVIA FACT: The inner tray graphic is the Vandals “Peace Thru Vandalism” logo, but with some sort of musket or something in lieu of the assault rifle. Hey, i don’t make the news, i just report it.

 –norb (United Kids)