VIVISUK: US Disastwhore: 7” EP

Oct 23, 2007

Crusty hardcore, dual female/male vocals, thrashy beats. You know the drill. Would’ve been considerably more impressed if they had gone for more originality by including a tuba player.

 –jimmy (Bacon Town)

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Teen Movie Hell: A Crucible of Coming of Age Movies from Animal House to Zapped! By Mike “McBeardo” McPadden, 351 pgs.

February 13, 2020
Back in the nineties, when I didn’t sneak out and run around breaking stuff, I would often hole up and watch USA Up All Night, a late night B movie show hosted alternately by a younger, but still not quite young, Gilbert Godfrey who’d be replaced the next week by the ditzy, bubbly Rhonda Sheer with her over-sprayed blonde hair and ample bosom. Aside from the occasional slasher movie, USA Up All Night would play teen sex comedies, a genre of exploitation film based entirely off teenage boys’ desire to gawk at boobs in a pre-internet world. The genre started in the drive-in circuit and exploded on the arrival of VHS. Non-existent plots revolved around some snooty fat cat developer trying to shut down the beach or summer camp while dimwit bros struggled to keep the party going. Problematic as this genre was—and its sister genre, the tame, star-crossed romances of John Hughes (also covered in this guide)—it was a huge part of my cultural DNA. I wanted to check the book out and I wasn’t disappointed. The sheer amount of movies they review is vast. The tone is funny and charming, but at the same time insightful. For instance, Beardo’s hot take on the class warfare in these movies. He sides with the “slobs” over the “snobs,” taking shots not just at the ubiquitous rich kids from the competing fraternity or camp, but also at the snide, condescending Ferris Bueller and the bottomless financial privilege he throws around to keep him out of trouble. You can expect everything in here to be written with humor and aplomb, in spite of the puerile and scatological nature of the films it covers. My love of this genre, however, does not come without some chagrin. I’m a lot older than I was when I sat up late watching, edited nudie vehicles on cable TV. I know how offensive, sexist, and problematic these movies are. Fortunately, so does the author. Beardo addresses this by getting a lot of women to write essays and reviews in here. Some of the writers are old school punks or zine makers, like Lisa Crystal Carver. Not only does this allow for a more ethical delving into the genre’s patriarchal pathology, it also makes for a much more interesting read. This book deserves its place on the shelf next to Michael J. Wheldon’s, The Psychotronic Video Guide and in the home of any exploitation film fan. –Craven Rock (Bazillion Points,
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