VARIOUS ARTISTS: Music Is Stupid, We Like Noise!: CD

Well, it’s always refreshing to see thirty-four bands from around the country who’ve managed to find each other and become united in their misogyny and idiocy. At face value, if one had gotten a burned CD of this record without the album art, band names, or song titles, one would surmise that the actual release is a pretty generic compilation that’s simply destined for used bins around the country. However, the label was thoughtful enough to include all the packaging, so this reviewer was able to note that there are some really stellar band names on here, including Antichris And The Raped, Statch And The Rapes, and Better Fucked Than Raped. Golly, I’m sensing a theme here. There’s some really terrific song titles, too: “Fist Fuck,” “I Buy Beer for Runaways,” “And Then I Fucked Her,” and “What Do You Call 48 Women at the Bottom of the Green River?” The record label that put this out has some pretty interesting politics: their website notes that they staunchly refuse to put any “religious, racist, or patriotic bullshit” on their comps, but I guess songs romanticizing or mocking rape or the murder of women is okay. Good job, guys, glad to know you’re standing behind your beliefs. The amazing part is that there are women on this comp; being a guy, I obviously run the risk of being labeled a “PC fascist” (again) when I ask this, but what the fuck are you thinking? There are no lyrics whatsoever in this comp, so all one has to go by are the band names and song titles and what one can decipher from the lyrics of the generally low-grade, paint-by-numbers punk songs presented within. This is the danger of compilations, but it’s taken to a higher degree here; normally, a decent band runs the risk of being stuck in the mire of a dozen shitty bands before and after it, therefore bringing the overall quality of the listening experience down a peg or two. But on this little piece of sonic dog shit, the handful of decent bands aren’t only on the same roster as shitty bands, but shitty, detrimental bands, bands that not only aren’t punk but are the fucking antithesis of punk as I hold it to be true. Like other releases from this label, MISWLN didn’t even make it to the record store for a trade-in. After this thoughtful, well-researched, and eminently fair review, it went right into the fucking trash, just like the others.

–keith (We Are Going To Eat You)