VARIOUS ARTISTS: Choke On It: LP

Had a hard time reviewing this one: Todd keeps sending me records from people that live in the same town as I do because either a.) he believes—correctly or not—that I’m somehow more “in the know” regarding this or that particular band and/or release due to our shared regional proximity or b.) he thinks it’d be hilarious if someday I write a bad enough review that someone actually comes to my house and kicks my ass. Even with aforementioned ass-kicking in mind, I still gotta say that there’s a ton of questionable shit on here—I mean, how many “fag,” “retard,” “dick-sucking” and “this band likes fucking fat chicks” references does one comp need?—but on the other hand, I am so fucking tired of getting whiny emails from supposedly punk bands and labels complaining about my “pseudo-PC feminist bullshit” reviews. I mean, you’re offensive as fuck and trying to goad people on—and then someone tags you for it in a review and you get all upset. Right, makes perfect sense. So let’s compromise: you folks realize it’s a record review, probably one of many that you’ll get, and it’s not the end of the world if you get a not-so-favorable one. And I won’t “editorialize” for the rest of the review. Okay? Good deal. Here we go: It’s a comp with twenty-seven bands on it, with a first pressing of 500. The original cover must’ve gotten scrapped, because cover models are thanked in the liner notes but the LP jacket just has the title of the record and “A 27 Band Portland, Oregon Compilation LP” on it. Compilations, especially ones themed by regionalism, are always a crapshoot when it comes to quality and consistency, and Choke On It pretty much follows suit: some of the bands totally suck and come across as fucking jackasses, some of them fucking rule. Some of this comp’s songs are exclusive; some have already been released elsewhere. Sonically, it’s all punk stuff—you won’t find any new-wavey danceathons or floor-crying screamo bands here. Some of the bands include Hellside Stranglers, Absolute Rulers, The Raids, Riot Cop, Plan R, Statch And The Rapes, The Manholes, Autistic Youth, Nix, Straitjacket, Pornstore Janitor and The Fags.

–keith (Blind Spot)