Top 5s from Issue #79: Top Five Songs I Want Played at My Funeral

(glitched cover by candice)

Alex Barrett
Woman Rebel, by Peter Bagge
• Neighborhood Brats, Total Dementia 7”
Blue Spring by Taiyo Matsumoto
Blow Out, directed by Brian DePalma
• Red Dons, Notes on the Underground 7”

Aphid Peewit
• SNFU, Never Trouble Trouble Until Trouble Troubles You CD
• Poison Idea, Kings of Punk (Bloated Edition) CD
• SNFU, What No One Else Wanted to Say by Chris Walter (book)
• In Defence, Into the Sewer reissue CD
KFL: Chaos Magic & the Band Who Burned a Million Pounds by John Higgs (book)

Art Ettinger
• Dodge Dart, Lock Your Medicine Cabinet, It’s Dodge Dart CD
• Toys That Kill, Jukebox Series 7”
• The Lawrence Arms, Metropole LP
• White Murder, Self-titled LP
• Alan King And The Beer Drinking Christians, Self-titled CD

Ben Snakepit
Top 5 Fancy Beers
1. 5 Stones Aloha Piña
2. Austin Beerworks Black Thunder
3. Independence Convict Hill Oatmeal Stout
4. Dogfish Head Indian Brown Ale
5. Stone Smoked Porter

Bianca Barragan
1. Wulfen Rag, Wreck Of The Zephyr, and Summer Vacation at the Wulf Den
2. BroadCity on Comedy Central
3. White Murder’s debut album
4. LA Zine Fest 2014
5. The LA Zine Week “We Are in Friend-Love with You” reading at & Pens Press

Bill Pinkel
Top 5 Records I Missed That I’m Listening to Now
• Audacity, Mellow Cruisers
• Blind Shake, Key to a False Door
• The Estranged, Subliminal Man
• Rough Kids, The State I’m In
• Neighborhood Brats, No Sun, No Tan

Billy Kostka
• The Hunches, Exit Dreams
• Cheater Slicks, Reality Is a Grape
• Autistic Youth, Nonage
• Greg Cartwright, Live at the Circle A
• Basic Cable, I’m Good to Drive

Caitlin Hoffman
Top Five Songs (I’ve Heard on the Radio at Work)
1. “London Calling” The Clash
2. “Blitzkrieg Bop” The Ramones
3. “Here for a Good Time (Not a Long Time)” Trooper
4. “All The Young Dudes” Mott The Hoople
5. “American Woman” The Guess Who

Camylle Reynolds
New Favorite Places/Things
• Life Stink LP
• Hysterics, Can’t I Live? 7”
• Nots 7”
• Death Hymn Number 9, 3rd Degree Moon Burns LP
• My new hometown (worth the hell of moving)

Cassie Sneider
Top Five Songs I Want Played at My Funeral
1. “Death of a Clown” by the Kinks
2. “Tears of a Clown” by Smokey Robinson and the Miracles
3. “Cathy’s Clown” by the Everly Brothers
4. “Clown” by Argent
5. “Clowny Clown Clown” by Crispin Glover

Chad Williams
Top 5 of 2013 Because I Missed the Top 10 Request
1. Criminal Damage, Call of Death LP
2. Night Birds, Born to Die in Suburbia LP
3. The Bronx, The Bronx (IV) LP
4. Holier Than Thou?, You Can’t Have Slaughter without Laughter 12”
5. Bl’ast!, Blood! LP

Chris Terry
1. Atrina, In Planetary Sugar LP
2. The Franceens, Stepford Smiles CD
3. Blood Orange, Cupid Deluxe LP
4. Don’t Start Me Talkin’ by Tom Williams (novel)
5. Zero Fade made the American Library Association’s YALSA BFYA list.

Craven Rock
1. Release of my book Nights and Days in a Dark Carnival: Time Spent with Juggalos on Mend My Dress Press!
2. National Wake, Walk in Africa 1979-81 LP
3. Optogram #1: SmallTown Story by Danielle Patrick (zine)
4. Modern Life Is War, Fever Hunting
5. Kumare (movie)

Designated Dale
Top 5 Things He’s Fucking Thankful for (Except for Being Unable to Turn in a Column for the First Time, EVER)
1. Dr. Fawaz Kaba, the corneal specialist who saved my right eye this past January.
2. The post-op nursing staff who didn’t take my extremely violent awakening from anesthesia personally.
3. My ma and ma-in-law, brothermen Art, Jeff, Todd, David, and Jai for helping me out and always having my back during life’s occasional shitstorms, such as these.
4. Computer / electronic equipment that play back music, audio books, and movies.
5. And last, but most certainly not least, my continuing-to-amaze-me wife Yvonne. If life is a burrito, she is definitely the top shelf tortilla that keeps everything together and safe, and I love her beyond words for that.

Daryl Gussin
• Acid Fast, Rabid Moon LP
• Criminal Code, No Device LP
• White Murder, Self-titled LP
• Rev. Beat-man, live at Cafe NELA
• DARTO!

Evan Wolff 
Top 5 Bands / People I’m Stoked On
1. Shellshag
2. Flykills
3. NudeBeach
4. Tenement
5. Philly homies

Gabe Rock
Mixtape #5
1. The Clean, “Anything Could Happen”
2. The Troggs, “I Can’t Control Myself”
3. Beach House, “Other People”
4. Donovan, “Hurdy Gurdy Man”
5. Beanuts feat. Big Pun, “Off the Books”

George Rager
We’re Getting the Band Back Together! Top 5 Old Man Hardcore (OMHC) Reunion Bands
1. Infest
2. Final Conflict
3. Bl’ast
4. Los Crudos (sorry, Martin)
5. Negative Approach

Indiana Laub
• Horrible Things, Dumb Days cassette
• Nana Grizol, “For Things That Haven’t Come Yet”
• Joyce Manor, Of All Things I Will Soon Grow Tired LP
• Little Things, Frantic, Forgetful cassette
• Run Forever, A Few Good Things EP

Jamie Rotante
Top 5 Names I Would Choose If I Were a Member of the Dwarves
1. Gina Dentata
2. Kelly Ripper
3. Whori Spelling
4. Mammary J. Blige
5. Mulva

Jennifer Federico
Top 5 Favorites from My Super-Cool Razorcake Punk Box!
1. Fear Of Lipstick, Self-titled
2. Kim Phuc, Copsucker
3. The Reaction, Right Now
4. Genetic Disorder (zine)
5. Roctober (zine) 

Jim Joyce
Five Things That Were Already Underlined in My Copy of Dee Dee Ramone’s Autobiography, Poison Heart
1. On being in a rehabilitation center: “That was fucked up. They also made me play volleyball. It was a nightmare.”
2. On quitting the Ramones: “By then I was having a lot of fantasies about jobs […] so I could quit the Ramones. Like being a doorman or a candy store owner, or having a hot dog stand.”
3. About living by an old graveyard: “Once I went down there to get a loose brick and a dead person’s hand fell out of the hole where the brick had been […] the hand was all bone, but a gold and diamond ring was on its finger […] it must’ve been worth two and a half carats […] the money I got for it at the pawn shop kept me in dope and hostess cupcakes for months.”
4. On Joey the Artist: “Once Joey bought some fruit and vegetables at the grocery store and used them to do a painting. He churned them in the blender and painted with them—you could either look at the painting or eat it.
5. On End of the Century: “I still have no idea how [Phil Spector and the Ramones] finished End of the Century, or who actually played bass on it.”

Jimmy Alvarado
• Alice Bag, Violence Girl (book)
• Mission Of Burma, The Obliterati LP
Breaking Bad, seasons 1-5
• Little Beaver, Party Down LP
• New Sound Of Numbers, Invisible Magnetic LP

Joe Dana
Top 5 Moments at the 8th Annual Dre Day Celebration at the Dragonfly
1. Bad Cop/Bad Cop covering “California Love” (2pac) and “No Diggity” (

Black Street)
2. Hands Like Bricks covering “Regulate” (Warren G), “Higher” (the Game), and “Let’s Get High” (Dr. Dre)
3. Turkish Techno covering “Lodi Dodi” (Snoop Dogg), “Ain’t No Fun” (Snoop Dogg), and “Blow Your Mind” (Eve)
4. Whiskey Christie and Ranae Hummel doing “Dopeman” (NWA) with us, Adder doing “Guilty Conscious” (Eminem) with us.
5. Making 50 Cent’s “In Da Club” sound like Bad Brains wrote it.

Jon Mule
In Light of Hearing That the Master of Disaster, Duane Peters, Is M.I.A. After Being Released from L.A.’s “TwinTowers” without Money, Shoes, or Wallet, I Offer the Following List in Tribute. Be Well, D.P.
1. The lyrics to “Warstoryville”ought to, one day, be in an anthology of poetry or a high school history text book.
2. The way we treat mental health issues, chemical dependence, and prisoners in this country, in this world, is seriously fucked.
3. “All the leaders got the masses to believe / March on until you’re dead, the rest’ll be free,” “War Birth”
4. Skateboards, swimming pools, and Vision shoes
5. Razorcake issue #3 and D.P. interview… even if it gets creepy as fuck when he describes his “relations” with a blow up doll. 

Kayla Greet
1. Against Me!, Transgender Dysmorphia Blues
2. Nights and Days in the Dark Carnival: Time Spent with Juggalos by Craven Rock
3. Smooth Sailing, Princess, and Grenades at the Blue Moon Tavern on my birthday
4. Mad Conductor, MC Rises
5. Snakepit Tattoo Stories by Ben Snakepit (zine)

Kevin Dunn
1. Ben Snakepit, Snake Pit Tattoo Stories (zine)
2. Neighborhood Brats, Total Dementia 7”
3. Little Dave Merriman, “It’s Cold” unreleased single via Soundcloud
4. Dott, Swoon LP
5. Chumped, Self-titled 12”

Kurt Morris
1. Mutoid Man,Helium Head
2. Motörhead,Ace of Spades
3. Motörhead,Aftershock
4.Propagandhi,Failed States
5. Reatards,Grown Up Fucked Up

Mark Twistworthy
• Canadian Rifle, Deep Ends LP
• Flesh World, Self-titled 12”
• Glass Hits, Better Never Than Late LP
• Burnt Skull, Sewer Birth LP
• Libyans, Expired Language LP

Marty Ploy
Favorite Live Albums
1. Descendents, Liveage
2. Avail, Live at the Bottom of the Hill
3. The Weakerthans, Live at the Burton Cummings Theater
4. The Lunachicks, Drop Dead Live
5. ALL, Live Plus One

Matt Average
The Fog, soundtrack 2 x LP
• Boom Boom Kid, Musica Sin La Intervención De Cristo LP
• Nekromantiker, Self-titled LP
Rosemary’s Baby,soundtrack LP
• Transfix, Self-titled LP

Matt Seward
Top 5 Live(Age)
1. Filmage screening at The Bottletree
2. Homage (Descendents tribute)
3. Rubrics at The Forge
4. Diarrhea Planet at The Bottletree
5. Iron Chic at The Firehouse

Matthew Werts
• The Dovers, Self-titled
• Angel Olsen, Burn Your Fire for No Witness
• Kate Bush, The Dreaming
• Various Artists, Killed By Hardcore Vol. 3
• Vincent Gallo, When

Mike Faloon
1. Chills, Molten Gold single
2. Future Virgins,Late RepublicLP
3. Mind Spiders,InhumanisticLP
4. Radioactivity, Self-titled LP
5. Safes,Thanks to YouEP

Mike Frame
1. Dan Baird & Homemade Sin,Circus LifeCD
2. The Pygmies,Self-titledLP
3. Neko Case,The More I FightCD
4. Lee Hazlewood,Trouble Is a Lonesome TownLP
5. Chris Darrow,Artist ProofCD

Naked Rob
Terrible Tuesday Radio Show | San Francisco
• Neighborhood Brats, Total Dementia 7” (SF via LA punk rock)
• Shoes This High, Straight to Hell LP (‘80s New Zealand post-punk-reissue)
• Peace Creep, Self-titled LP (SF rock punk)
• PyPy, Pagan Day LP (Canadian psych punk)
• Blacklisters, BLKLSTRS LP (UK noise rock)

Nardwuar the Human Serviette
1. Two Skunks for Valentines Day: A trip to Awesome Fest 6 zine by
Mike Faloon. I did not got to Awesome Fest, but Mike took me there
and back and made me laugh!
2. The Ballantynes, LiquorStoreGunStorePawnShopChurch EP (East
Van soul club excitement!)
3. First Base, Self-titled LP (Repping Toronto haard!)
4. The #1s,Sharon7” (Incredible Irish punk rock)
5. Eating Out, Burn 7” (Vancouver in the house!)

Nick Toerner
• Frozen Teens / Street Legal, Split 7”
• Future Virgins, Late Republic LP
• Vacation, Candy Waves CD
• Tenement / Screaming Females, Split 7”
• Radioactivity, Self-titled

Nicole Macias
1. Cheap Girls, Find Me a Drink Home
2. King Kahn & BBQ Show, Invisible Girl
3. King Kahn & BBQ Show, Self-titled LP
4. The Gateway District, Old Wild Hearts
5. Pentagram, Last Daze Here

Nighthawk
Top 5 Stay Retardeder Weekend Moments
• The Dopamines not playing (posers)
• Lipstick Homicide / Too Many Daves / Boys / Tiltwheel at Chill Dawg Cove
• The Transgressions
• Nato Coles forgetting to play the barbeque show at Silver Ballroom
• Nothing going wrong

Paul Silver
Top 5 (Pop) Punk Songs
1. Articles Of Faith, “Every Man for Himself”
2. Hüsker Dü, “Celebrated Summer”
3. Rumspringer, “Hindsight Is 20/20, Foresight Is $200 an Hour”
4. Pitchfork, “Thin Ice”
5. RVIVR, “Wrong Way/One Way”

Rene Navarro
1. Spokenest, Destroy, Gone, Listen, Lose Cassette
2. Summer Vacation, Wreck Of The Zephyr, and Wulfen Rag at the Wulf Den.
3. The Manticore by Robertson Davies
4. The thriving Tijuana PONX scene, tied with the thriving LA Jiu-Jitsu scene.
5. Street Eaters, Rusty Eyes and Hydrocarbons LP

Rev. Nørb
• Teengenerate, Get More Action LP
• Dirtbombs, Ooey Gooey Chewy Ka-blooey LP
• Brimstone Howl, Magic Hour LP
• Sugar Stems, Can’t Wait LP
• Manual Scan, All Night Scan LP

Rich Cocksedge
• White Murder, Self-titled LP
• Dalaplan, Self-titledLP
• Epic Problem, Lines 7”
• Muncie Girls / Great Cynics, Split 12”
• Autistic Youth, Nonage LP

Ryan Nichols
1. Black coffee
2. Black Coffee Bluesby Henry Rollins
3. Becky Lee & Drunkfoot with Beat-man at Alex’s Bar
4. Chain And The Gang
5. Black Bug “Reflecting the Light”

Sal Lucci
1. Video, (Join The) Hate Wave 7”
2. Cumstain, White People Problems LP
3. Teengenerate, Get More Action LP
4. Finding a copy of Video’s Leather Leather LP
5. Finding a copy of Cosmic Psychos’ Glorious Barsteds LP

Sean Arenas
• Acid Fast,Rabid MoonLP
• Secret Smoker,Terminal ArchitectureLP
• North Trolls,SupLP
• Ex-Breathers,CollisionLP
• Jabber,Too Many Babes7”

Sean Koepenick
Best Johnny Thunders Songs
1. “Get off the Phone”
2. “Born to Lose”
3. “So Alone”
4. “London Boys”
5. “You Can’t Put Your Arms Around a Memory”

Tim Brooks
• Leatherface, More Mush LP
• Frustration, Uncivilized LP
• Radioactivity, Back to Me EP
• Frenzy, Noisy Trouble EP
• Needles, Desesperación EP

Toby Tober
Top 5 Movies I Have Enjoyed Recently
1. In a World…
2. Bronies: The Extremely Unexpected Adult Fans of My Little Pony
3. Her
4. High Tech Low Life
5. Cosmic Psychos: Blokes You Can Trust

Todd Taylor
• Future Virgins, Late Republic LP
• RVIVR, The Beauty Between LP
• Acid Fast, Rabid Moon LP
• White Murder, Self-titled LP
Zero Fade by Chris Terry (book)
• LA Zine Fest, 2014

Tommy Vandervort
1. OWTH, Menzingers, Arms Aloft, and Elway at The Firehouse, Normal, IL
2. A Tribute to Tony Sly
3. Against Me!, Transgender Dysphoria Blues
4. The Methadones, NotEconomically Viable, tie Break Anchor, Rolling Blackouts
5. Red Scare and Underground Communiqué Records record fair/swap at Gingerman, Chicago, IL

Yvonne Drazan
Top 5 Easy Yet Yummy Recipes I Found in the Blogosphere 
All Tested by Yours Truly and Come with the Designated Dale Seal of Approval!

1. “Million Dollar Spaghetti” from madefrompinterist.net. Layers of noodles, butter, a cream cheese/sour cream/cottage cheese mixture, and ground beef spaghetti sauce. Crazy decadent, but amazing!
2. “Green Sauce” from the-girl-who-ate-everything.com. Apparently a knock off of an avocado dip they have at a Texas eatery call Casa Ole. I would mainline it if I could.
3. “Korean Beef over Rice” from jcocina.com. I’m sure there is nothing authentic Korean about this stuff, but it’s so damn easy to make and it’s great comfort food.
4. “Bacon Cheeseburger Puffs” from plainchicken.com. Bacon, Bisquick, cheese, and ground beef… Do I really need to tell explain why this is great?
5. “Basic No Knead Bread” from frugallivingnw.com. If bread baking intimidates you, this is a good place to start. Once you make it you’ll wonder why you never tried making homemade bread before. Crunchy, chewy, airy… Fuckin’ awesome!