(A reader who sent us a Top 5)
• Sick Sick Birds, Chemical People EP
• American Steel getting back together (I don’t care. Jagged Thoughts is a great album!)
• Ringers, Detention Halls
• Finding the Thumbs’ All Lesser Devils at the thrift store fir a dollar. I was so excited I forgot to look for a sofa.
• Reigning Sound, Too Much Guitar. Finally checked it out. I’ve been missing out, apparently.
Five Themes Songs for the (Shitty) First Summer out of College
• Nomeansno, “The River”
• SNFU, “Drunk on a Bike”
• The Ergs!, “Books about Miles Davis”
• Descendents, “Coolidge”
• Buzzcocks, “I Believe”
Top 5 Songs I Wish Greg Cartwright Had Written for Me
• “Your Love Is a Fine Thing” (Reigning Sound, Too Much Guitar)
• “Pretty Baby” (Greg Oblivian & The Tip Tops, Pretty Baby 7”)
• “Your Happiness” (Compulsive Gamblers, Crystal Gazing Luck Amazing)
• “You Can Stay With Me” (Mary Weiss & Reigning Sound, Dangerous Game)
• “And Then I Fucked Her” (The Oblivians, Soul Food)
Top Five Recent Punk DVDs
• Wassup Rockers
• Briefs, Greatest Story Ever Told
• Ramones, It’s Alive: 1974-1996
• King of Punk
• Casualties, Made in N.Y.C.
The Top 5 Funnest Things about Illustrating Sean’s Column!
1. The most challenging (read: insane) deadlines in all magazinedom.
2. Using it to justify the purchase of a new scanner/printer. Yessss!
3. Using it as an ice breaker to introduce myself to Nardwuar the Human Serviette, and a cute girl at my local coffee shop. (He was impressed, her… not as much.)
4. I get to read his columns before anyone. (This means you Dave!)
5. Punk points!
1.Howard Zinn, You Can’t Be Neutral on a Moving Train, DVD
2.Otis Redding, Greatest Hits, Double LP
3.Fugazi, Marginwalker LP
4.Alleged Gunmen, on my itunes: gotta love free music!
5.Culture Jam, Kalle Lasn (book) Founder of Adbusters writes about overthrowing corporate power!
Top 5 Things I’ve Been Doing Since the Last Time I Submitted a Top 5, Which Was Like a Year Ago.
1. Dancing frenetically to the Future Virgins Gravity 7”.
2. Sleeping with one eye open after reading World War Z: An Oral History of the Zombie Wars by Max Brooks. I now live in constant fear of zombie attack.
3. Laughing my ass off to The Simpsons Season 8 on DVD. “El Viaje Misterioso de Nuestro Homer” is the greatest twenty-three minutes of television ever broadcast.
4. Swinging wildly between joy and despair while reading Bucky Sinister’s All Blacked out & Nowhere to Go.
5. Making angry, passionate love to myself during a staff meeting in homage to the first season DVD of 30 Rock. Watch the first couple of episodes and you will know what I’m talking about.
Top 5 Shows of My St. Louis Summer without a Vacation
• Ultraman playing a set of Minor Threat songs at the Creepy Crawl
• Sicko (film)
• Bitch Slap Barbie, The Clints, The Haddonfields, I Stabbed My Landlord at Cruisin’ 66
• Creature from the Black Lagoon (3-D film) at the Tivoli Theatre
• Hedda Gabler (play), Echo Theatre Company
1. The arrival of autumn, signaling a return to hoodie weather. Fuckin’ finally…
2. People Who Can Eat People Are the Luckiest People in the World by Andrew Jackson Jihad CD, a pleasant surprise discovery.
3. We Are CD by Cloak/Dagger, who are just too insanely awesome for words.
4. Quo Vadimus CD by JenaBerlin, who I saw tear shit up live to a crowd of ten people, tops.
5. Finally getting a taste for whiskey, which has made life so much more fun.
1. Oakland/Bay Area (This place rocks)
2. Hardly Strictly Bluegrass Festival in Golden Gate Park: John Prine, Del McCoury Band, Doc Watson, Steve Earl, Gillian Welch, Lester Flatt, Ray Wylie Hubbard, Guy Clark (a lineup even hippies can’t fuck up)
3. Circle, Wildildlife, and some other band on I can’t recall on The Bus (show on a moving ex-city bus. Fuck yeah.)
4. The Whistling Song by Stephan Beachy (book) (could easily be the best novel I’ve read in ten years)
5. Noise show in an abandoned train station in Oakland
Cristy C RoadTop Five Things to Listen to After You Snort Ambien
1. From Ashes Rise, Nightmares
2. The Distillers, Coral Fang
3. The Copyrights, Mutiny Pop
4. The Melodians, Rivers of Babylon
5. Iron Maiden, The Essential Collection
• Future Virgins, Words & Sounds 7”
• Panic, Strength in Solitude LP
• Skillz, “Hip Hop Died?”
• Criminal Damage, No Solution LP
• Violent Minds, Just Kicked In 7” tie with Mannequin Men 7”
Top Five No Idea Bands Who Didn’t Reunite to Play Fest
1. Panthro UK United 13
5. Hot Water Music
Young Livers, The New Drop Era CD
The Ackleys, Self-titled CD
Fiya, Better Days CD
Too Many Daves, Self-titled 7”
Smashing Pumpkins, Zeitgeist CD
• Ramones, It’s Alive 1974-1996 double disc DVD set. Holy. Shit.
• Fuzzy Wuz, She Frick It! 7” Think the Dead Boys with a cat instead of Stiv.
• Abby, the 1974 blacksploitation knock-off of the 1973 horror classic The Exorcist.
• El Atacor #11 on Figueroa in East Los Angeles. Carne asada porno burrito, guay.
• Mike Watt playing bass with The Stooges. Genius meets the masters.
• Knugen Faller, Lugna Favoriter LP
• Criminal Damage, No Solution LP
• Municipal Waste, Art of Partying CD
• Stukas Over Bedrock, Back to the Stone Age LP
• Being married for thirteen years!
1. Black Sabbath, We Sold Our Soul for Rock and Roll
2. Motörhead, Ace of Spades
3. The Fallouts, Sleep
4. Davila 666/Wayward Girls/Aurora Roarers show
5. XTC, Drums and Wires
RIP Mike Salamon, Lincoln Park, MI
Sept 14, 2007—Age 34
Thank you for:
1. Your life-long friendship with Tom
2. Missy, my American Pit Bull Terrier
FTW & RRM
1. Dan Padilla at Tower Bar, SD
2. Ladytron at 4th & B, SD
3. Alizee, “Jen Ai Marre” (YouTube it, you won’t regret it)
4. Black Time, Message from Control Tower 7”
5. Perfect from Now On: How Indie Rock Saved My Life, by John Sellers (book)
Joe Evans III
Top Five Highlights at Carlapalooza, a Two Day Show to Benefit The National Ms Society (Besides Raising a Shit-Ton of Money).
1. Confirmation that The Modern Machines are playing again, for good.
2. The Hamiltons coming all the way from Canada.
3. The Max Levine Ensemble
4. My bandmate Bill winning both a punching bag and Screeching Weasel records, and combining them on day two.
5. The Steinways (and the candy fight that broke out in the middle).
• The Golden Boys, 7”
• The Touch Me Nots, 7”
• Twistin’ Rumble Vol. 1, Comp LP
• Twistin’ Rumble Vol. 3, Comp LP
• The Fucking Champs, live
• Punkin Pie, Broke Truck Good Luck Song CD
• Modern Life Is War, Midnight in America CD
• The Dauntless Elite, Graft CD
• The end of Bummer Summer
• Putting out a new issue of Avow after more than a year
1. Quitting my day job.
2. The endless patience of my wife after quitting my job with no other job lined up.
3. Trying to figure out how to take care of my family with no day job.
4. The sinful allure of working at a bar once again.
5. Finishing another issue of Drunken Master zine (#10) and sending it to the printers right when quitting my job. Yippee!
1. Black Flag, In My Head
2. Welcome to Flavor Country #12
3. Stanford Prison Experiment, The Gato Hunch
4. Les Savy Fav, Let’s Stay Friends
5. Everything Pig Destroyer
Favorite Fictional Characters (And the Authors Who Created Them).
• Ramona Quimby (Beverly Cleary)
• Arturo Bandini (John Fante)
• Jonas (Lois Lowry)
• Matilda (Roald Dahl)
• Arthur Dent (Douglas Adams)
The Lord Kveldulfr
Five Great Things about My Wedding (Other Than Getting Married)
• A bar in Vicksburg, Michigan letting us leave with full pitchers of beer just so we’d get the hell out.
• Ruckus O’Reiley finally with the two chicks for whom he was built.
• Tuxedoes! Pontoon boat! Beer!
• Three drunken Wisconsinites and three brew pubs within walking distance of each other.
• With gentlemanly grace the Rhythm Chicken held the matron of honor’s hand and told her that she was very pretty while he was standing in front of her, a bridesmaid, and the bride’s mother, fully naked.
Maddy Tight Pants
1. The Green Bay Packers!
2. Upheaval in the Quiet Zone (book) by Leon Fink
3. Mississippi John Hurt, Last Sessions CD
4. Super Mario Bros 3!
5. The Parasites, Retro-Pop Remasters CD
Top 5 Things I’ve Learned Thus Far at Art School
1. The “Theater of My Mind” is a place I need to hang out in at least three hours a week. Good thing tickets are cheap. I pretty much just stare at this one stain on the carpet.
2. I need to go buy a pair of ripped jeans so I can blend in and make people trust me at protests.
3. Good stories don’t matter; getting the scoop matters.
4. There’s a lot of free food on campus.
5. It’s going to be a lonely couple of years.
Top 5 Presumably Great Unread Books Haunting Me from My Bookshelf
1. In the Name of Salome, Julia Alvarez
2. A House in the Up Lands, Erskine Caldwell
3. Lord of the Barnyard, Tristan Egolf
4. Boy Detective Fails, Joe Meno
5. Founding Myths: Stories That Hide Our Patriotic Past, Ray Raphael
1. Steve Earle, Washington Square Serenade CD
2. Blueline Medic, The Apology Wars CD
3. Billy Joe Shaver, Everybodys Brother CD
4. Chesterfield Kings, Psychedelic Sunrise CD
5. Lucero, Nobody’s Darlings CD
Top Random Five
• Plato’s Cave Film Screenings at The Cog; Gib Strange from Halloween All Year and Razorcake’s own Ryan Leach bring you films so underground they have to show it at The Cog (the most clandestine club in Los Angeles)
• H.M.S. Terror at Echo Park house party. They are soooo good.
• www.globalwarmingcrusade.com: A classroom outreach program to teach children about the effects of global warming
• Midnight Movies “Souvenirs”
• Eastern Promises by David Cronenberg. Oh, Viggo…
• Finntroll live
• Skeletonwitch, Beyond the Permafrost CD
• Mutilated Movies (a collection of short horror flicks, including Urine Trouble, about killer urinal cakes)
• Age of Reason by Sartre (book)
• Eastern Promises (movie)
Top 5 Songs That Make Me Laugh When They Pop Up on Shuffle
1. Green Jelly, “Blind Date”
2. Nerf Herder, “Courtney”
3. The Briefs, “40 and Above”
4. Killer Dreamer, “Scalpel”
5. Ben Weasel, “Let Freedom Ring” (Because the singing lessons made no difference.)
Nardwuar The Human Serviette
1. Music Machine, The Ultimate Turn On CD (inspired by the amazing Ugly Things Magazine cover story)
2. Riff Randells, Doublecross CD
3. Bison, Earthbound CD
4. Gravy Train!!!, All the Sweet Stuff CD
5. ApeCity R&B, Firestarter 7”
Top Five Quotes Heard During Lord Kveldulfr’s Wedding Weekend
• We’re interstate men of leisure!
• BRIAN! TAKE OFF YOUR NUTS!
• Michigan makes me drunk!
• Matt, I’ll give you eighty bucks to shit your tux!
• Your junk sucks! Fuck your junk!
• Halloween (the holiday)
• The Broken Family Band
• Haxan: Witchcraft through the Ages (Criterion Collection DVD)
• The painting of Steve Urkel next to a giant hamburger in Cincinnati
• Monster Parties: fact or fiction?
Top 5 Bands I’m Stoked to See at Riot Fest, Chicago—11/17-11/18/07
• Naked Raygun
• Stiff Little Fingers
• 7 Seconds
• The Methadones
• Bad Brains
1. The Mountain Goats, The Sunset Tree CD
2. Jason Webley, Counterpoint CD
3. MotionCity Soundtrack, Even If It Kills Me CD
4. Bread & Roses, Deep River Day CD
5. My mandolin
1. Swans, Swans Are Dead CD
2. Army Of Flying Robots, Life Is Cheap LP
3. Yann Tiersen, Le Phare CD
4. Look Back And Laugh, Street Terrorism EP
5. Descendents, Milo Goes to College LP
1. The Arrivals, Marvels of Modern Industry CD
2. The Black Keys, Thickfreakness CD
3. Brokedowns and Arrivals songs for their split 7”. I don’t give a shit if I am putting it out and you think that this is a conflict of interest. Ya’ll can suck it. I’m allowed to dig shit I put out. I like good things. I can’t help that.
4. 7.5% Samuel Jackson beer (someone finally made it) at some bar in Portland.
5. Gabe Rock trying to act respectable in front of his girlfriend at some bar in Portland.
• Future Virgins, any and all
• Reagan SS, Universal and Triumphant, LP
• The Underground Railroad To Candyland, Bird Roughs, LP
• Tie: Knugen Faller, Lugna Favoriter, LP and Busy Signals, self-titled LP
• Tie: Tulsa, Sour Digs, LP and Pangea / Harvest Moon Society split 7”
1. Pray for Me: The Jason Jessee Film DVD
2. The Subhumans (Canada): Live 09.29.07
3. Canadian PBR (5.9% alc./vol.)
4. The China Creeps
5. Anything wrapped in bacon!