Top Five Things You’d Think Would Be a Cinch to Find in Chinars, But Ain’t So
1. Flip flops
2. Mandarin speakers
3. Egg rolls and fortune cookies
4. Chinese jump rope
5. Obedient students
• Samhain: Live 1984 at the Stardust Ballroom (DVD)
• Johnny Cash, Man in Black: Live in Denmark 1971 (DVD)
• Mummies, Unwrapped!?! (Video)
• Robert Anton Wilson, 1932-2007: R.I.P.
• Stephanie Miller Show (syndicated progressive radio show). If you’re going to indulge your inner toddler with the guilty pleasure of partisan politics, it goes down easiest—as Mary Poppins knows—with a spoonful of sophomoric humor and fart jokes. Something the right wingers seem doomed to never figure out. Not to mention that SMS is home to one of the absolute best impersonators in the business, bar none.
1. Chuck Pahlaniuk, Haunted, Book (The most disturbing collection of stories ever.)
2. Intellectuals, Invisible Is the Best CD
3. Figgs, Follow Jean Through the Sea CD
4. Emily Grogan, At Sea CD
5. Kevin K, Hollywood CD
1. Bumbklaat, Corrosion 7”
2. The Discoverers: A History of Man’s Search to Know His World and Himself, by Daniel J. Boorstin (book)
3. Everything You Know Is Wrong: the Disinformation Guide to Secrets and Lies (book) www.disinfo.com
4. Unwound, Challenge for a Civilized Society CD
5. Sonic Youth, The Destroyed Room CD
Top Five Shows at Punk Rock Bowling
• Dillinger Four
• 100 punkers singing “God Bless the U.S.A. (Proud to Be an American)” during lasers and water.
• Social Circkle, Static Eyes EP
• Skate Korpse, Self-titled LP
• Police & Thieves, Self-titled EP
• Deep Sleep, You’re Screwed EP
• Artcore Fanzine #23 packaged with America’s Unknown comp LP
1. The Devil and Daniel Johnston DVD
2. Thomas Function!, Vanity Lights EP 7”
3. Go Tell the Mountain: Stories and Lyrics of Jeffrey Lee Pierce (book)
4. New Luck Toy, There’s a Hole in My Face Where She Used to Be CD
5. Mind-blowing bootleg of early B-52’s footage my friend Lelah played for me when I was wasted. (VHS)
Top Five Bits of Culture That Kept Me Alive Through a Month of Non-Stop Cab Driving in Louisville, Kentucky
1. Friday Night Soundclash with Matt Anthony on 91.9 WFPK
2. Realms at some punk house called Black Bear something.
3. Nerf Jihad #6 and #7 (zine)
4. Mid-American Chants, by Sherwood Anderson (book)
5. America, by Ralph Steadman (book)
• The Vicious, Alienated LP
• Government Warning, No Moderation LP
• Future Virgins, Self-titled 7”
• The Answer Lies/Tulsa, split 7”
• El Pato (salsa)
Top Five Things I Just Found Between the Arm and Seat of My Leather Chair and the Soundtrack Music That Would Accompany My Discoveries…
5. Found object: mystery pill (Soundtrack: “Rehab Barbie” from the new Radon CD Metrics Buttloads of Rock.)
4. Found object: Chex Mix or, “crunch crunch,” if you will (Soundtrack: “Widows on Welfare” from the new Toys That Kill CD Shanked!.)
3. Found object: beer bottle cap (Soundtrack: Tiltwheel track one, side one “Fuck You This Place Is Dead Anyways” from their split with Off With Their Heads.)
2. Found object: piece of weed (Soundtrack: “Paint Thin Walls” from the CD Jumbo’s Clown Room by Underground Railroad To Candyland.)
1. Found object: empty airline-sized bottle of whiskey (Soundtrack: “28 Years” from the CD Ain’t It Funny by Pretty Boy Thorson And The Fallen Angels.)
1. The Despised (Atlanta, GA) Punk, It’s Not for Rich Kid$ Anymore! CD. Keeping hardcore alive and violently kicking down the Southside.
2. Big Drill Car gigs on VHS. Don’t even think of going on YouTube—they ain’t there.
3. Four-and five-year old kids recognizing who the Ramones are. There really is hope for the future.
4. My brother turning forty earlier this year. If you knew ‘em, you’d get it. Joe rules and is fucking hysterical.
5. India’s free publicity for Slayer’s Christ Illusion LP due to their getting it banned in their country. Who needs the Quick-E-Mart? Not me.
• Knugen Faller, Inte Som Ni 7”
• Behind Enemy Lines, One Nation Under the Fist of God LP
• The Beltones, Cheap Trinkets CD
• Siouxsie & The Banshees, The Best of CD
• Eat The Living, Bloodbath CD
• Not Punk Rock Bowling. Tiltwheel not last place? I call bullshit.
• Cranford Nix, Jr.
• The Bananas, “Nautical Theme”
• Rabbicai the cat with the heart of gold in Portland, OR telling me, “You seem like you’re doing much better now.”
• Thrillhouse Records in San Francisco, CA making punk a threat again.
Top Five Songs in Heavy Rotation at My House
1. Riverboat Gamblers, “On Again Off Again”
2. Sahara Hotnights, “Hotnight Crash”
3. River City Tanlines, “I’m Your Negative”
4. The Unlovables, “Samatha”
5. The Marvelettes, “Too Many Fish in the Sea”
1. Pete from the Bouncing Souls wishing me a Happy Birthday on stage in Vegas at PRB.
2. Todd wearing a bear suit with a cape (aka a pillowcase) while bowling.
3. The Briefs, Black Fag, and The Ignorant live at Alex’s Bar 1/26/07.
4. Getting a digital camera for my birthday—I’ve finally entered this century.
5. Del Taco’s Dan’s Deal. Fuck yeah!
1. Smogtown, Ugly American Makeover 7”
2. Les Hatepinks, Tete Malade CD
3. Darkbuster at the Zombie Lounge
4. The Lucky Stiffs, Gold in Peace, Iron in War 12”
5. Thomas Pynchon, Against the Day (novel)
1. Lifetime, Self-titled CD
2. The 20 Belows, Headaches and Moodswings CD
3. Only Crime, Virulence CD
4. The Homostupids, live at Pass Out Records in Brooklyn
5. The Best Show On WFMU podcast
1. The Black Lips and Th’ Losin’ Streaks live at the Blue Lamp, Sacramento
2. Los Saicos, Wild Teen Punks from Peru 10”
3. Los Shains, El Ritmo De… 10”
4. The Boys, Self-titled LP
5. Giant Robots, Too Young to Know Better…Too Hard to Care CD
1. Chelsea, Faster, Cheaper & Better Looking” CD
2. Tom Dowd, The Language of Music DVD
3. Bat Skates custom decks
4. Smut Peddlers at SXSW 2007!
5. Stanley Clarke at The Vault.
Five Important Comics You Can Read for Free Through the L.A. Library System
1. A Contract With God by Will Eisner
2. Epileptic by David B.
3. The Snakepit Book by Ben Snakepit
4. Mome Anthology by various
5. V for Vendetta by Alan Moore and David Lloyd
The Lord Kveldulfr
1. The Beatles by Bob Spitz (book)
2. Various Artists, Shit Like a Champion 3: Unfinished Business CD
3. Tom Waits, Orphans 3xCD
4. The return of Brett Favre.
5. Receiving a digital turntable for Christmas.
Top Five Books I Recommend
• Sherman Alexie, The Lone Ranger and Tonto Fistfight in Heaven
• Nelson Algren, The Man with the Golden Arm
• Richard Brautigan, Revenge of the Lawn
• Jonathan Carrol, The Land of Laughs
• Haruki Murakami, The Wind-up Bird Chronicle
1. Head, No Hugging No Learning LP
2. Lifetime, Self-titled CD
3. Rural Rock N Roll Documentary
4. Little Richard 5 LP Box Set
5. Modernettes live show
Miss Namella J. Kim
1. Lily Allen, Alright, Still—more attitude than an angry rapper but with a dazzling elegance that can’t be matched.
2. Black Lips live at Spaceland. Why was Keifer Sutherland there and why didn’t he come home with me?
3. Chromeo’s single “Needy Girl.” I know this is old but you can’t deny the power of the funky bass lines and vocoder—take that Roger and Zapp!
4. Digital Leather, Sugar Hands unreleased. Don’t ask me why I have this. Madonna’s visage can turn green right about… now.
5. Ferry Corsten, L.E.F. As aggressive as electronic music gets. There’s no other contender.
• Koda Kumi, Cherry Girl (Japanese pop music. Fun stuff.)
• Barefoot and Pregnant (Comp of old school Minneapolis punk)
• Iron Maiden, Piece of Mind
• He-Man and the Masters of the Universe
• Dillinger Four live
Top Five Current Guilty Pleasures
1. Lily Allen, Alright, Still CD (She samples the Specials and the Emannuelle softcore porn theme song for her self-made music.)
2. Dead To Me, Cuban Ballerina CD (Cannot stop listening to this motherfucker.)
3. Common, “A Dream” song (Some real good shit. No really.)
4. Damian Marley, Welcome to Jamrock CD (Fun, socially conscious music from Bob Marely’s youngest son.)
5. Weird Al, Straight Outta Lynwood CD (Have you seen the video for “White and Nerdy” yet? Duuuude. Hahahaha!)
Naked Rob (KSCU 103.3FM)
1. Full Blown Aids, Beso Me Mucho CD (Pinche Tejanos)
2. The Spark, Self-titled CD (Mas pinche Tejanos)
3. The Mall, Emergency at the Everything CD (Gamer-core)
4. The Monsters, Garage Punk Vol. 1 CD (Made in Switzerland)
5. Zero Down, Old Time Revival CD (Seattle rocks!)
Nardwuar the Human Serviette
1. Pointed Sticks live at Richards’ on Richard’s Vancouver.
2. Michael Viner’s Incredible Bongo Band, Bongo Rock LP
3. Fun 100, Goodbye! CD
4. Bad Amps, Two Faced 7”
5. Clarence Reid, Funky Party CD
• Busy Signals, “Can’t Feel a Thing” b/w “All The Time”
• Spits, 2006 European Tour 12”
• Jay Reatard, Blood Visions LP
• Various Artists, One Kiss Can Lead to Another: Girl Group Sounds, Lost and Found (4 CD box set)
• John Cooper Clarke, Ou Est La Maison Du Fromage? CD
1. We Jam Econo: The Story of the Minutemen DVD
2. It’s Happiness: A Polka Documentary DVD
3. The Life and Death of Lenin, by Robert Payne (book)
4. Art Altenburg, “The Oof-oof”
5. The Midnight Loving, Century Trails CD
1. Larry Williams and Johnny Guitar Watson’s Two for the Price of One (LP)
2. That kid on Toy Machine who switch 360 flipped the Carlsbad High gap.
3. Gabriel Hart coming through with greatness (go see him play, fuckers).
4. Noam Chomsky
5. Haim Ginott’s Teacher and Child (book—I’m serious. A great book on effective, positive communication with young people and the not-so-young.)
1. Various Artists, Campfire Songs About Religion & Suicide CD
2. The Lathe Symphonic, Hello My Name Is the Lathe Symphonic CD
3. Eddie Izzard, Definite Article DVD
4. Common Market, 1-28-07 at Silver Platters (live show)
5. The Earaches, Time on Fire CD
My New Favorite Songs by The Jam After Seeing Paul Weller Live at Irving Plaza, NYC on 1/29/07
1. “Man in the Cornershop”
2. “That’s Entertainment”
4. “Thick As Thieves”
5. “English Rose”
Top Five DVDs on Repeat
1. Jackass 2
2. William Eggleston in the Real World
4. TV Sheriff
5. Narcoleptic dogs on You Tube
The First Five Punk Albums I Ever Listened To (Back in 1993)
1. Pennywise, Self-titled
2. Dead Kennedys, Bedtime for Democracy
3. Operation Ivy, Energy
4. Bad Religion, Suffer
5. Crass, Stations of the Crass
• Future Virgins, Self-titled 7” EP
• The Measure [SA], Union Pool 7”
• The Vicious, Alienated 12”
• Tragedy, Nerve Damage LP
• Tiltwheel/Off With Their Heads, split 7”
1. Goodnight Loving, Cemetery Trails LP
2. Live Fast Die, Bandana Thrash Record LP
3. Anna Nicole Smith dying.
4. Batman vs. Madmonk, Matt Wagner comics
5. Blowfly, Weird World of… LP
Top Five Bands Jay Brown Was In (Rest In Peace)
1. Alcoholic White Trash
2. The Hoosegow
3. The Bonerdogs
5. Fuck Pig
1. Pagan Altar, Mythical and Magical
2. Weedeater (live)
3. The Hidden Hand, The Resurrection of Whiskey Foote
4. Bedemon, Child of Darkness
5. Reps Rubble, Vol I and II