STALKERS: “Lady Sonia” b/w “When We Get There”: 45

Sep 23, 2011

The sleeve art is a photorealistic pencil drawing of a nekkid girl ((well, i take that back – she’s actually wearing opera gloves, a studded leather belt and a matching collar)) bending over just enough that you think you might be able to see something cool, but with her arms positioned in such a way to block your view of her boobs—which is an odd thing, because right above her head, there’s also a close-up sketch of her boobs, submitted for your approval. There really is no other context for the imagery; it’s just doggy style asses and hands-on-boobs for the apparent sheer fun of seeing doggy style asses and hands-on-boobs. She isn’t whapping her butt with a drumstick, or drying herself off on a Voxx Teardrop bass, or, really, anything rock related. It’s just a nude chick. I don’t know exactly why i am so fascinated with this; it’s just that, when someone sticks a nude girl on their record cover, there’s usually some…point? Like, some, i dunno, attempt at a statement or something? It’s usually just not “OK, here is our cover, which is a naked girl, because we all like naked girls.” There’s usually at least something more to it, isn’t there? Well whatever. So, flip to the back cover, and it’s more pencil drawings, this time of guys with Small Faces haircuts and what-not. I am prepared to cast this record out the window, sight unheard, just for annoying me with its, i dunno, general rock-star-ish-ness, but, in the spirit of fair play ((possibly also in the spirit of further checking out the chick’s ass)), i put it on the turntable, and, amazingly, the a-side is actually really pretty good. It’s a fast, snappy, Powerpearls-style, ‘79/’80-ish skinny-tie-Beatles-on-speed ditty, with up-and-down-the-scale vocals and lyrics about a “self-declared masturbatrix” ((go figure)). I mean…i still kinda think that overall, these guys are probably dorks, but, shit, if somebody told you this was the Rousers or somebody, you’d be all over this shit, so call a spade a spade and admit it’s a good song! The b-side employs acoustic guitar and is pretty forgettable. In any event, there probably haven’t been many better reasons to think about installing a turntable in your bathroom, have there been? BEST SONG: “Lady Sonia” BEST SONG TITLE “Lady Sonia” FANTASTIC AMAZING TRIVIA FACT: Artwork by Sophie Thunder!

 –norb (Oops Baby)