SONNY VINCENT: Cyanide Consommé: CD

I listened to this latest dose of black leather trad-sleaze/straight-up nihilism at work, over the tiny speakers on our crappy, non-internet-enabled computer, dutifully noting how the lead guitar would poke its head out of the rock’n’roll Sarlacc Pit during vocal pauses, spit a little venom, and duck back down when the vocals came back in, just like the Dead Boys. I also noted how key phrases would be forcefully re-bludgeoned again and again, like the Action Swingers. I even noticed the occasional X-Ray Spexish sax solo, and the squawky distorto-effect on the vocals that was popular twenty years ago when the Dummies were at their prime. Then “Suck My Snot” hit, and it’s like “SUCK IT UP! FUCK IT UP!” or something like that, and I’m all like “HOLY SHIT!!!”, and I stopped taking notes —but, right on cue, the plant manager started coming over by me because he wanted a pair of latex gloves, so I immediately and instinctively killed the volume. It’s got to be complete rock instinct, when you’re listening to something as fucking great as “Suck My Snot,” and some grownup starts coming over to where you’re at, you kill the volume. THIS ISN’T FOR YOU TO HEAR, SQUARE! YOU GO ON ABOUT YOUR BUSINESS! It’s like, not only do I not want a grownup to HEAR my music, I don’t even want them to observe ME hearing it. THEY CANNOT COMPREHEND THE GOINGS-ON! It’s best to keep it shrouded in mystery, let their feeble imaginations attempt to fill in the blanks as best they can. Real rock’n’roll engenders a sense of territorial possession: THIS IS MINE, YOU CAN’T HAVE THIS, AND, IN POINT OF FACT, YOU CAN’T EVEN WATCH ME HAVING IT! Such was, indeed, the case here. So, yeah, eventually he walked back into the din of the pressroom and the six boomboxes trying to blast Styx or whatever over the noise, and I went back to blasting “Suck My Snot” on these tiny little speakers, alone and unwitnessed. I can not and need not provide further testimony to this record’s worth. BEST SONG: “Suck My Snot.” BEST SONG TITLE: I do like “Suck My Snot” just fine, but I’m going to go with “Part 2 Screw You” just to break it up. FANTASTIC AMAZING TRIVIA FACT: Spine is printed upside down. 

 –norb (Big Neck,