SLUTTY CHURCH CHIXXX: Self-titled: 7” EP

Given how much of a cultural touchstone “early eighties hardcore” is, was, and perhaps always shall be—at least nominally—in the punk scenes of whatever NOW we happen to inhabit, it absolutely fucking AMAZES me how rarely anyone gets it right. I mean, what was the last good hardcore band, like, ever? Los Crudos? The State? Seven Seconds? Negative fricking Approach? Well, what-fucking-ever, the Slutty Church Chixxx knock this thing out of the fucking metaphorical ballpark with a bat that is pure, strong, and one hundred percent cork-free! It’s an eight-song 45, which is EXACTLY RIGHT i might add, managing to channel Dez-era Black Flag ((“Your Morality”)), MDC ((“Police Harassment”)) and first-album Circle Jerks ((“Exit 6”)) in the space of THE FIRST SIDE ALONE! Everything is LOUD and MEAN and FAST and TO THE POINT and, in the interests of consumer service, they’ve even eliminated the gaps between songs for your listening pleasure. None can ask fairer than that! This band rules. May they never release a full-length album ((especially one with a full-color cover)). Amen. BEST SONG: “Exit 6” BEST SONG TITLE: “Minimum Wage, Maximum Rage” i guess. We’re not really into song titles here, fucko. FANTASTIC AMAZING TRIVIA FACT: I’ve been to Huntsville, to watch the Brewers double-A affiliate, the Huntsville Stars. Their team has “Faith Night” promotions, where every player wears a jersey number corresponding to a Biblical verse…so you’d think there would have been plenty of Slutty Church Chixxx at the ballpark, but i saw none.

 –norb (No Profit)