SLAPENDEHONDEN / SAUL TURTLETAUB: Split: 7” EP

My personal take on hardcore—in the short hair / boots / eight-or-ten-songs-on-a-seven-inch-record sense of the word—is that it was “good”—in the “not sucking” sense of the word—from about summer ‘81 ((or whenever that Teen Idles EP came out)) ‘til about New Year’s Eve, 1982. 1983 was okey in the sense that it let the third tier cities ((like Green Bay)) catch up a bit with the second tier cities ((like Detroit or DC)), who had, for most intents and purposes, already caught up with the first tier cities ((like SF and LA)). 1984 equates with “metal contamination” in my mind and 1985 is right out, so reasonably, if you wanted a quick and easy non-calendar-based rule of thumb as to when hardcore ((in whatever sense of the word I was just talking about)) was, like Gillette®, the Best a Man Can Get, I think you could make a case for it being the period starting five seconds after the Teen Idles EP came out and ending about a week and a half before the first Suicidal Tendencies album was released. That said, since the first song on Saul Turtletaub’s side of the record—“Moe”—reminds me of the reckless young Canadian micro-squall of the Neos, that makes it late ‘82-ish, thus, by my reckoning, “good.” The other three songs ((“Larry” “Curly” and “Shemp,” if you haven’t guessed)) strike me as a bit more ‘83/’84-ish, maybe kind of Imminent Attack-ish, and, since Imminent Attack were better in ‘82 than they were in ‘84, you can probably see where I’m going with this one. Slapendehonden’s ten songs are reminiscent of a cross between Anal Cunt and Government Issue’s “Legless Bull” EP, if G.I. were completely undecipherable—i.e., twenty seconds of spastic metal barfing interspersed with some fast ((but surprisingly un-heavy)) punk bits. Any misgivings I have about my potential square-ness in not fully appreciating this band is offset by their stunningly daft portrayal of Wire’s “12XU” as an “MT cover” ((MT as in “Minor Threat,” duh)), after which I mentally downgraded them from “sounding like ‘Legless Bull’” to “sounding like that Youth Brigade 7”.” Take that! BEST SONG: Saul Turtletaub, “Moe” BEST SONG TITLE: Saul Turtletaub, “Shemp” FANTASTIC AMAZING TRIVIA FACT: Saul Turtletaub’s side of the record is called “Hey! Ho! Brasciole!”

 –norb (Geet)