SECRETIONS: Faster Than the Speed of Drunk: CD

First the cool: There’s a bottle opener hidden under the CD tray. It’s a small thing, but it still was a pleasant surprise. As for the music… well… I dunno. This is my first exposure to the Secretions, but based on the Ramones-core of most of the songs I doubt if most of their other stuff is that different. I love, love, love, the Ramones, but there’s a lot of Ramones-core bands I don’t like at all. A lot of the bands seem stuck on writing self-reflexive songs about being a clichéd, drunken, punk rocker. It’s like that sad feeling you get when you see a band of forty-year-olds in leather called something like the Punkasfucks who seem to only play songs about drinking, about being punk, how punk it is to be drunk, how punk they are ‘cause they drink a lot, and be in rabid denial that anything has happened in the world since 1984 or so. Punk becomes a parody instead of anything honest. This album tends to keep drifting into that zone for me. The music itself feels pretty shopworn and unexciting for the most part, but it’s okay enough pop punk. The “Viva la Lucha Libre” song though… that flat-out sucks a truckload of ass.

 –Adrian (Silver Sprocket)