SCUMBAG ROADS: Bad Girl Attraction: 10”

Jul 29, 2009 of the things that i find wholly unsatisfying regarding the majority of European punk rock (especially the stuff that might be seen as having descended in some way, shape or form from the Ramones, regardless of how nth-generation the bloodlines run) is that once The Punk Rock has made its initial mutation – has staked out its defining deviance from the norm, or what have you – it very rarely mutates further. Once a band sounds like what it sounds like, it sounds like that forever, or until they “progress,” which is different from mutation. Bands will be FAST and LOUD and PUNK, yet an entire set can pass by without the band ever finding some virgin cubic millimeter of your brain that hasn’t yet been trampled by rock ‘n’ roll – some tiny cluster of heretofore unused synapses, ripe for the pickin’ – and jabbing their own little pushpin in there, marking their turf forever and ever, or until you forget. I just never feel like a lot of the bands establish much of an identity above and beyond the identity they’ve established merely as a precondition to their existing; like, once the initial sonic character of the music is there, everything else could just be plotted out by some manner of punk rock algorithm. Of course, i freely admit that there may well be things in the music that i’m not picking up on, but i’m gonna give myself the benefit of the doubt and write that off as idle speculation right now. That said, about two-twelfths of this record is genius – and, of course, those twelfths would also be the two stupidest songs, “Deadly Potion” and “Dirt.” The other ten-twelfths blaze along in a quite pleasant punk rock fireball, with the blaring guitar assault upon my eardrums feeling as nice as the hot water in the shower does when i’ve finally coaxed myself out of bed in the morning. However, sorta like the shower, the feeling only lasts ‘til the towel. Rocks hard, but debatably non-essential. BEST SONG: I already told you this, it’s either “Dirt” or “Deadly Potion.” Now, since you made me repeat myself, i will tell you the BEST LYRIC: “I grab my giant noodle/pissing on the whole kaboodle” BEST SONG TITLE: Well, “Smash It Up,” “Dirt,” “I Don’t Like You” and “Yeah Yeah” are all pretty good... too bad they’re already taken. I guess i vote for “Bad Girl Attraction,” contingent on it being some sort of pun on “Bad Guy Reaction.” FANTASTIC AMAZING TRIVIA FACT: Guitar player Andi Scum was (is?) in the Returners. The Wag!!! The Wag!!! THHHHEEEE WAAGGGGGGGG!!! 

 –norb (Swindlebra)