I’m not gonna sit here on my ass and gush like Niagara Falls about how great it is having a band like The Riverboat Gamblers alive and kicking the last nine years. Anyone who’s heard them already knows that, right? Right. But I do wanna reiterate the two golden rules that matter when it comes to being in a band: 1) what your band does in the recording studio, and 2) what your band does live on a stage. That’s it. Everything else is just hot fucking air, and there’s quite a bit of shit bands out there to prove this point. It can restore faith to see a band that takes these two golden rules to heart and consistently delivers the goods. And with this record, the Gamblers are delivering it yet again, in fucking spades. There’s some heavier production this time around with Confusion, but don’t let that scare you—you’ll be nodding your head and muttering “Holy shit!” under your breath by the time you’re halfway done listening to the opening ass-stomper, “True Crime.” Other pummels to the kidneys in the same vein are “The Song We Used to Call ‘Wasting Time,’” “The Gamblers Try Their Hand at International Diplomacy,” “The Art of Getting Fucked,” and one of my faves, “Rent Is Due.” The rock’n’roll songwriting is shining brilliantly here, especially with the tracks “Biz Loves Sluts,” “Don’t Bury Me... I’m Still Not Dead,” “On Again off Again,” “Year of the Rooster,” and the would-make-Angus-Young-proud riffed gem, “Uh Oh!” I even hear glimmers of D-Generation on the cuts “The Curse of the Ivory Coast” and “Black Nothing of a Cat” (and for those of you groaning, fuck you—that’s a good thing). There’s even some brief acappella happening here about unicorns, courtesy of Throw Rag’s Capt. Sean Doe. Ex-Catheters (now Tall Birds) drummer Davey Brozowski must be given credit where credit’s due—he did a real fine job filling in on the drum stool for the recording of this record. Simply put, the RBG are as fantastic a band as they are good people, so it’s a no-brainer that you want this new record for your audio pleasure, Corky (yes genius, that’s right—Corky. As in TV’s Life Goes on). I hear the RBG are gonna be part of this summer’s Warped Tour again. Christ, I’d really hate to be in any of the bands having to follow their set. That shit could get really embarrassing.