REV. NØRB: Earth: CD

Where the hell do I start? Am I being set up here? Is this some kind of hazing stunt, just cuz I’m the dopey new guy here? Rev. Nørb’s a fellow Razorcaker, for crissakes, not to mention a punk rock icon of the loftiest cosmic heft. How does one even begin to approach Earth’s Greatest Rocker? Well, first let me state: I consider the Good Reverend to be a national treasure, at very least on par with the hotly controversial Garrison Keillor. Nørb’s tenure at MRR alone should garner him some sort of punk purple heart. He was, perhaps along with George Tabb and Mykel Board, the lone organ of humor at that mummified institution for years. But I’ll be honest: I’ve always worried that Nørb might turn himself into the Soupy Sales or Tom Green of punk rock. Severe times demand rash acts of buffoonery, God knows. But Nørb is too valuable to deserve to be painted into a corner where he’s trapped slapping himself in the face with lemon meringue pies over and over again for the rest of his days. I mean, how many punk icons turned themselves into cartoons? It’s a staggering list with names like Sid Vicious, Darby Crash, El Duce – and the Bluto of punk, GG Allin – floating lifelessly around at the top. The Ramones were 100 % cartoon characters from the hey-ho-get-go. But maybe being a cartoon character is the noblest way out. Fuck. What do I know? I’m a jug-headed dum-dum of such breathtaking insignificance that I’m not worthy of scrubbing Nørb’s soiled clown noses. But the more I listen to this CD, the more I realize that my fears are unfounded – if only for the simple fact that Nørb isn’t just slapstick and prat falls and funny outfits – there is a deucedly clever intellect at work here. The song “My Drums Are Cooler Than Shit” alone whisked away any doubts I might’ve have. Norb is sorta like a hyperactive Joey Ramone, if Joey had a brain bigger than a whoopee cushion and tackled lyrics having to do with theology, Einsteinian physics and the under appreciated value of male ejaculant. Yes, in the pantheon of Earth’s goofball demigods, Rev. Nørb’s place is secure. I’m just glad I got through this review without using the words “wacky” and “zany.” Oops.

–aphid (Bulge)