RETAINERS: Waste of Time: 7″

A friend of mine was raving to me about this band a couple months back. “The only band worth a shit these days is The Retainers. Get their singles; it’ll knock your dick in the dirt”, he tells me. Herrmmmm… Okay, I gotta check these guys out. Let’s be honest, there’s not a whole hell of a lot in punk rock these days that is exactly capable of “knocking your dick in the dirt.” Two quick blasts of lo-fi and totally blown out KBD influenced punk rock from this prolific outfit. The songs are loud, abrasive, and a bit loose and jangly. The Retainers do what any worthwhile punk does, they come on loud and fast and cut it short before you even have time to collect your thoughts, although that tempo change on the B-side, “Die Baby Die,” allows for some introspection, but still… The A-side, “Waste Of Time” is from their LP on P. Trash. I guess I need to go shower and get the dirt off my dick. It would be quite strange if I was just standing over the sink doing this and my wife walks in. “It’s not what it looks like honey!”

 –M.Avrg (Fashionable Idiots, fashionableidiots.com)