PUMP: Sexually Retarded: CD

Mar 15, 2010

Sounds like NoMeansNo or some other band i don’t listen to playing those weird, jerky songs off the first Fear album—the ones with the bizarre time signatures—but stretched out into long, operatic, hookless bullshit, sort of like something off the third Dead Kennedys album or something. If you’re stuck at, like, a merch booth, or working the door, or have your means of escape otherwise cut off, and this band starts playing, you will mince no oaths, because you will know instantly that every second of their set will be jazz-o-spastic, aggravating hell for you, that your earplugs will never be stout enough to repel all of their neuron-tormenting volume, and that they are talented enough musicians that they could play about a four hour set if they wanted to. And they likely want to. BEST SONG: “Waterboard Boogie.” Maybe it just makes me feel like i’m being waterboarded? BEST SONG TITLE: Either “Hitler’s Absent Father” or “Banging My Muse.” FANTASTIC AMAZING TRIVIA FACT: I feel bad for hating a band whose guitarist is credited as supplying the “Wheedly Wheedly.”

 –norb (Sympathizer)