PACK A.D., THE: Funeral Mixtape: CD

One of many things i will not miss when the 00’s wind to a close is the presumed extinction ((or, at bare minimum, long hibernation/remission)) of the once-in-vogue two-piece band—not because said units are not capable of producing decent music ((they are)), but simply because, as with pop punk bands in the 90’s, i am bound and convinced that there is absolutely NOTHING new that these bands can possibly do that will grab and hold my interest. That ship has sailed, and i don’t expect it back in the harbor ((“of ROCK!”)) for decades, if not centuries. I mean, the band is pretty decent—label-supplied comparisons of the vocalist to Janis Joplin are not egregiously far off the mark, and the guitars have a nice tone and a passable second White Stripes album kinda vibe ((i’ll stick my neck out here and claim that “De Stijl” was one of the better albums of the first half of this decade)), but i just can’t get into it. It’s sorta like once the elastic gets all stretched out on the waistband of your Fruit of the Loom® thermal longjohns, nothing you can do is gonna make that elastic all grippy and stretchy again, and the Pack A.D., through no real fault of their own, are that elastic waistband. This, of course, begs the question of whom my barndoor is; i’d like to imagine it’s Godhead Silo but that’s pure conjecture on my part. BEST SONG: “Blackout” BEST SONG TITLE: “Oh Be Joyful” FANTASTIC AMAZING TRIVIA FACT: Almost listened to this in my car on the way to a funeral; feared karmic recompense; did not do so.

 –norb (Mint)