OTHERWISE: Dark Adapted Eye: CD

I was so stoked when I got this because it looks all deathy and boss and shit with David Carson-esque typography and a photograph of some slimy tentacled thing on the cover (probably just an octopus, but it looked bad-ass). I figured I was getting the second coming of Chuck Schuldiner or something – I mean, the fucking album title is Dark Adapted Eye, right? It has to be some fucked up King Diamond / Mercyful Fate / Dimmu Borgir / Deicide shit, right? It sounds evil, it looks evil, it’s gonna be fucking evil! I popped it in at work to ward off the blandness of the fluorescent lights and settled in and prepared to be rocked. The drumbeats started off a little slow, but I figured that even the most grindy album in existence can be deceptive – deception is evil, right? Deception is cool. And then the album proper started and I wanted to cry. All those hopes. All that build-up. For another shitty fucking whimpering sniveling emo band. As a result of this miserable experience, I have come to one unshakable conclusion: Firefly Records sucks rancid ass.

 –scott (Firefly)