NEW SWEARS: Junkfood Forever, Bedtime Whatever: LP

The epic return of Canada’s one true physical incarnations of partying, New Swears swings wildly back into action with ten brand-spanking-new songs about refusing to become an adult and throwing caution to the wind. You’d think at this point songs about partying would be so dime-a-dozen that it would be impossible to write any more, but you’d be wrong, you uncultured swine! Shove this LP into your earholes! Bring it up as a counterpoint when people start playing club rap! Play it at discothèques, raves or just about anywhere, really! Eventually, you won’t have any friends left, but you’ll still have the fun sugary party punk that is the New Swears. Grade: A-.

 –Bryan Static (Bachelor,