NEW CREATURES, THE: Penelope Flowers: CD

Apparently, this disc features the last recordings, done in the mid ‘80s and never before available, of a band of Rush t-shirt-wearing teens from Dayton, Ohio. And that’s pretty much what it sounds like. Except that, even with the mouse-sized nuts Geddy Lee must have to get that elfin helium voice, Rush had, even at their most fanciful, more testicular might than these youngsters could ever dream of. I am all for desecrating the over-blown sanctity of the label “punk” but I have no idea why anyone would ever call this punk. It sounds like the warmed-over haggis of ‘70s progressive rock to me. I don’t know: was Uriah Heep punk? Regardless – I don’t know if I’ve ever heard a less interesting, less exciting collection of meandering tunes in my life. Unicorn Rock blows. Old Skull remains the undisputed king of Kiddie Punk.

 –aphid (Smog Veil)