This starts with the god damn DUMBEST guitar solo i’ve ever heard in my life. Ever. At least on record. I played the beginning twenty seconds or so of side one like eight times in a row, just because i couldn’t believe what i was hearing. The first three or four times, i played it just to confirm its amazing dumbness. The next three or four times, i played it just to try to understand WHAT DRIVES A MAN TO PLAY SUCH A GOD DAMN DUMB GUITAR SOLO??? The last time i played it, i pretended the guy really wanted it to sound like that. Then i kinda liked it! It’s as if the guy is going for a whiz-bang Rikk Agnew “No Way” type rocking rocker of rock lead, and due to sheer accident/incompetence, he winds up sounding like a (very) poor man’s Greg Ginn instead. It’s actually kind of a beautiful thing, like a short school bus on a May morning perhaps. Anyway, the first song is called “Out in the Cold,” which is about being out in the cold. Out of curiosity, i dialed 437-0123 immediately after hearing it, and, being as the operator told me it was 15 degrees Fahrenheit outside and these hipsters are from Sonoma, CA, i couldn’t really get full tether on their pain. Moving on, i wrangled with the lyrical subtleties of “New Fun” (“I killed my bitch last night on some booze/punk rock criminal with nothing to lose”) for quite some time, eventually coming to the conclusion that the song would be a fucking CLASSIC except the guy said “bitch” too many times. I mean, if the chorus is gonna go “the bitch is dead, the bitch is dead, got new fun ’cause now she’s dead,” wouldn’t the verses be better served using a synonym for “bitch” instead? (er, sorry about the three-syllable words) Sort of like that dopey line from – what was that Mentors song called, “Manhater” or something? – that went “all you lesbians, in your leather and your spikes/all you are – is lesbians and dykes!” I mean, really. DON’T THINK THESE FINE POINTS OF ORDER DON’T MATTER! The B-side, “Fight,” starts with the line “I’ll fight for my country,” then seems to veer off into lyrics where the fighting seems to be for a girl, then ends with “let’s get the boys and fight!!”, which confused me to no end: I couldn’t figure out if the seeming-to-be-about-a-girl fighting lyrics were actually metaphorically about fighting for his country, or if the fighting-for-the-country lyrics were actually metaphorically about fighting for a girl, or the guy just wanted to provide a helpful overview of many popular applications of the fisticuffs medium, but i eventually got perturbed enough that i took it off before the song was done. I mean, shooting your girlfriend is one thing, but i certainly don’t condone violence. BEST SONG TITLE: “New Fun” BEST SONG: “New Fun” AMAZING FANTASTIC TRIVIA FACT: This band is very negative!
–norb (Noma Beach)