NEARLY DEADS, THE: Kris and Holly Sides: 7″

…i mean, i quite understand the various forces that impel guys to form two-piece bands with their girlfriends (or sisters, or ex-wives — or someone who qualifies for all three categories at once [hey, Michigan’s a weird place, man]), ya know? I’m COOL with it. What i’m NOT cool with is why i hafta be the poor sap stuck LISTENING to the results — i mean, what the fuck am i, the rock & roll chaperone? Can’t you guys just practice, then get drunk and fuck on the anvil case or something? Human Spam™ Filter, kindly refrain from subjecting my hi-fi to further PDA-by-proxy materials! ‘Sfar as the music goes, the Esquerita cover plows a pretty happnin’ trench thru the combined fertile muck and bountiful mire of the eighth Cramps and second Supercharger albums, but the three originals have already slid from my short-term memory bank straight into the recycling bin, which is likely whence they came anyway. Kinda hard to play the “blues” with anything resembling conviction when any second it sounds like this record is gonna start drinking a chocolate malted with two straws and making out with itself. BEST SONG: “Rockin’ in the Joint” BEST SONG TITLE: “PDX, OR, USA” FANTASTIC AMAZING TRIVIA FACT: The track hereon entitled “Sugar, Sugar” is not the Archies cover of similar name, which is generally spelled without a comma (and is a superior song).

 –norb (Subway Star)