LAST VEGAS, THE: Lick ‘Em and Leave ‘Em: CD

Whoo, good thing it’s the last one. When they just sit down and shut up and smoke their crack and play their Molly Hatchet/Van Halen “Hot For Teacher” riffs, i guess things aren’t really a complete and utter embarrassment for all parties concerned; when the lyrics kick in – “you wauwna love mashaaaayn, you wauwna be obsaaayyne” etc. – this condition no longer holds. It’s pretty fucking sad when grown adults can’t think of a better album title than this. P.S. Tell your graphic designer to stop wasting his time designing your CD covers and to get behind the drums, because America needs a new (mumble mumble mumble) band album now more than ever! BEST SONG: “I Got What You Need” – i like how they manage to sound like they’re ripping off “Heartbreaker” by Led Zeppelin AND the Donnas AND the first Mötley Crüe album simultaneously. It’s me art! WORST SONG TITLE: “You Want To Know How To Love Me” FANTASTIC AMAZING TRIVIA FACT:“No matter how pretty she is, somebody, somewhere, is sick of her shit” – Spanish Tony.

 –norb (Get Hip)