LARS FREDERIKSEN AND THE BASTARDS: Self-titled: CD

Of course, it’s Lars Frederiksen of Rancid… of course, it’s pure gut-pummeling punkrock restlessness… of course, I wouldn’t have it any other way! The relentlessly frenzied aural adrenaline-rush rowdiness of such songs as “Dead American,” “Six Foot Five,” “Army of Zombies,” “Anti-Social,” “Leavin’ Here,” and “Vietnam” caused me to feverishly guzzle my very last beer, jubilantly leap from the couch, rabidly run rampant and wild throughout the house, violently slamdance with a towering heavy hardwood bookshelf, briefly pause to punch numerous holes in the wall with my forehead, spastically scurry out the front door and into the street, plow headfirst into the first SUV that crosses my path, crazily jump onto its hood, and then proceed to viciously kick in the windshield ala Gary Oldman in “Sid & Nancy”… as the bewildered driver of the now severely damaged vehicle springs from it and escapes to parts unknown, I plop to the pavement and wearily sigh. Damn, I’m bloodied, bruised, and cross-eyed tired… but you can bet your sweet bippies I’ll heartily listen to this chaos-fuelled disc again tomorrow and every fuckin’ day thereafter! Hey, Lars, you gonna pay my astronomically outrageous medical expenses or what?!

 –guest (Hellcat)