JUNIOR ACHIEVER: All the Little Letdowns: CD

If, when you see a guy with greasy, messy matted-down hair that probably takes a half hour of daily mirror time to maintain, you think to yourself, “Wow, give me some of that! Let me enter your world, Mr. Hipster Doofus,” then you might like this cutesy radio pop. But you should also know that all four guys have beards. The more facial hair, the higher the “suck” rating. You know this to be true. That’s why you’ve skipped over the Allman Brothers section at the record store. 

 –Mike Faloon (Engineer, www.engineerrecors.com)