JOHNNY UNICORN: Sadness and Companionship: CD

Sep 19, 2013

So, this is a workout album. Mr. Unicorn had a dilemma. He likes to workout to music with a constant steady beat but techno is too redundant and long songs in other genres like progressive rock will suddenly have a sax solo or something that breaks his stride. He wanted music with a steady rhythm that also changed things up throughout to keep it interesting, so he did it himself. I was hardly working out the first time I put it on—in fact I think I was drinking a beer—but I had a great deal of appreciation for it. It was corny, fun, and cheesy with its triumphant synths and goofy, robotic vocals singing dorky, out-place, maudlin indie lyrics. It definitely reminded me of going to the YMCA as a kid and the aerobics music I’d hear as I made my way to the pool. So there’s that. It also brought to mind Andrew W.K in the way that it’s a joke, but at the same time it’s serious. W.K really wanted people to get down and get excited about life and partying as a metaphor, but he knew full well that his music was cheesy. Mr. Unicorn knows full well that his idea is absurd, but he also truly wants us to FEEL THE BURN!... as it were. I felt I got the joke, but I also realized I couldn’t honestly make a call on the album unless used it for its intended purpose. GODAMNIT! So I got up early one morning and took off running while listening. It was like dropping acid and listening to Pink Floyd. I thought, “Oh, I really get it now!” I realize that a punk fanzine reader might not be the audience for this CD. My guess is your average Razorcake reader will appreciate it as much as they do, well, working out. It gets my blessing, though.

 –Craven Rock (