Jan 11, 2011

About a quarter-century or so ago i heard a story from an incident on an Anti-Nowhere League/Damned tour where Rat Scabies of the Damned and Winston of the ANWL were backstage, and Rat bet Winston that Winston could not possibly gross Rat out, so, in answer, Winston grabbed a carrot off the Damned’s deli tray, slathered it in salad dressing, shoved it up his ass, then pulled it out and ate it, sending Rat ((and all others)) fleeing from the room in revulsion ((i don’t blame ‘em. I hate carrots)). Well, if said carrot would have been as large as the Fat Boy nuclear bomb, and had a plutonium center, and Winston would have shoved it up ((“Music For Pleasure” avant-saxist)) Lol Coxhill’s butt instead, until it came out his mouth, and went all thru his saxophone like a big orange Play-Doh® Fuzzy Pumper Barber Shop™, and the biggest end would have come out the sax and gone up Rat’s butt too, then all the way up to his hair, then exploded, completely obliterating the dressing room in a hail of atomized saxophone tin, shredded bass strings, guitar necks, carrot pus, air-raid sirens and butt stuff, and somebody would have been recording this whole to-do from the soundboard, and the recording survived because the fat-ass soundman was standing in front of the soundboard polishing his Maglite® when the thermonuclear carrot went off, thus protecting the recording, then THAT recording might sound sort of like a demo version of “Nagasaki,” which starts this album. THE BEST ALBUM-STARTING INSTRUMENTAL SINCE “HEAT SEEKER” BY THE RIP OFFS, WHICH WAS ALSO PROBABLY ABOUT WINSTON’S SASSY CARROT!!! Most of the other songs have words, and sound, curiously, like The Freeze playing Die Kreuzen songs in some kinda highly theoretical garage/surf rock context. I suspect this may be The Real Deal™. Quick, Wilma, another deli tray! BEST SONG: “Nagasaki” BEST SONG TITLE: Perhaps “The Outer Limits,” because i was always scared of that one with Reese Fowler and his mutated eyeballs. FANTASTIC AMAZING TRIVIA FACT: Ends with a cover of the Tempests’ “Rockin’ Rochester USA,” which i forgot to mention.

 –norb (Cowabunga)

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